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Why Pacing and Leading is for Wimps!
Okay, you have read some books on body language and they all said you must mirror and match, pace and lead.... And you failed miserably when you went out into the real world. Let me tell you why and what you need to do instead. But first a story that illustrates my point... A few years ago I moved into a very well paid position in the company where I worked. And in my new job I was dealing with company directors, business owners and senior executives -- face to face. And to make it all even more challenging I would meet them on their territory - in their offices. Teachers of pacing and leading would tell me to pace these executives and then to gradually lead them. However this is the 21st century where everything happens at warp speed. You need to take charge of social interactions within the first 5 seconds or its all over. First impressions do count. This applies in business and in your social life. If you hesitate, wait and even... pace and lead the game will be over before you know what has happened. Here is what you need to do: 1. Take Great Care of Yourself. Get enough sleep, eat well and take exercise that makes you feel good on a regular basis. Neglect your body and your emotional state will slide too. And before you know it you will not have the energy to rise to the occasion. Having tons of energy is absolutely crucial if you want to excel. When you feel fantastic it gets easier and easier to be at your very best whenever you choose to be. 2. Lead and then Pace! Instead of pacing and leading do this... Get yourself into a great emotional state FIRST. The other person will then follow your lead. The more energetic you are, the happier you are and the more confident you are --- the easier it is to lead the other person. You can lead in many ways including....
If as you read this you think - hang on, what has this got to do with communication? It has everything to do with it. 93% of communication is non-verbal. Remember that. That is why I place so much emphasis on mental and emotional states - if you don�t grasp this, knowing what to say will not matter because you will be gripped by fear, indecision and insecurity. 3. Take the Discussion Where You Want it to Go Many people are far too passive when it comes to making polite conversation. Why? Because you have unconscious rules that dictate what is acceptable. You may even have old patterns running in your mind that are no longer appropriate e.g. only speak when spoken to; don�t talk to strangers. I hereby give you permission to break these rules! The way to get started with being more adventurous is as follows... First of all, notice that you have a habit of letting other people dictate the flow of conversation. Then, in a small way start being more proactive and suggest new topics of conversation or new directions to go in. At this point do not concern yourself with whether or not the person you are talking to follows your lead. Just get comfortable with making suggestions. If you are already living these principles you are having great success in all your dealings with other people. If you are not -- you have room to get even better. Listen!. I was really not much good at dealing with people until I committed to mastering this crucial life skill. You can get better and you will when you aim to improve even a little each and every day AND you apply proven techniques. About The Author Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
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Packers vs. Bears Q&A: A look at Vic Fangio’s head-coaching prospects Acme Packing Company Robert of SB Nation's Chicago Bears blog Windy City Gridiron answers our questions about Vic Fangio's head-coaching prospects. Q&A: Get to know the coaches behind the FSU basketball program (Part 1) Tallahassee.com The three assistant coaches for the FSU men's basketball team sat down with us for an exclusive Q&A session. Kansas State football coach search coverage (Dec. 10, 5:35 p.m.) 247Sports Get a collection of *content* from GPC about K-State coaching vacancy. USC football reportedly looking at Rams’ Ejiro Evero as DBs coach FanSided USC football may be looking at Rams' assistant Ejiro Evero to fill the opening on the Trojan staff at defensive backs coach, according to Bruce Feldman. Former Ole Miss coach Hugh Freeze agrees to deal as Liberty's head coach ESPN Former Ole Miss coach Hugh Freeze was introduced Friday as Liberty's new football coach. 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Chicago Tribune The Tribune's Bulls beat writer answers a wide variety of reader questions weekly. College football coaching carousel 2018: Who's been fired and who's been hired OregonLive The 2018 college football regular season has come and gone, championship weekend is complete and as bowl season approaches we've reached the point of ... New Flint soccer team hires coaching staff MLive.com The club, which is relocating from Pontiac for the 2019 season, is holding a name-the-team contest. Notre Dame coach Kelly favors expanding CFP to 8 teams Concord Monitor SOUTH BEND, Ind. – If it's any consolation to Ohio State, Washington, Georgia and UCF, Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly feels their pain – somewhat – of not ... Priest’s suicide homily, ‘bully’ coach add to family’s grief at son’s funeral Atlanta Journal Constitution Maison Hullibarger was a straight-A student and a tremendous athlete who ended his own life earlier this month. The tragic loss was devastating and the ... |
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