Dating After Divorce: Things To Think About Regarding Dating After Divorce
Dating after divorce is a much debated topic due to the psychological and emotional impact it can have on people. Dating after divorce can be complex, too often divorcees don't consider the ramifications of dating after divorce before they jump into it with both feet!
If you're going to start dating again after you've gotten a divorce, there's quite few things that you should consider beforehand...here's a partial list you might want to think about:
Dating after divorce consideration 1: Make sure that you are aware of your own level of self-confidence.
If are considering dating after divorce, be certain that you are either confident in yourself as a person or are at least aware of your level of self-confidence so you can plan accordingly. Self-confidence will help you to remain lucid when you're dating after divorce. Choosing who to date and why you want to date them can be a major turning point in your emotional health after a divorce. If you're self-confident, chances are good that you'll be able to handle being rejected or ignored if you're just beginning a relationship.
If you're truly self-confident, you'll be able to have the right mind set before you begin dating after divorce and any potential let down will be foreseen by you and "non-damaging" to your emotional state. Self confidence is perhaps the most important thing to think about from an emotional health perspective regarding dating after divorce.
Dating after divorce consideration 2: How quickly should you date after getting a divorce?
Fortunately, this is really only a question that you can answer, assuming your divorce is truly over with and you don't have a custody battle that's ongoing, a dispute about assets or finances, or any other type of lingering agreement that needs to be reached that could be impaired by dating. If you have children, this is a question of their strength and the strength of your relationship with them.
If you don't have children, this decision is entirely up to you regarding how you'll approach dating after divorce. Ask yourself how ready you really are to date again...depending on what you want out of dating after divorce, i.e., what the end result is to any solid dating relationship, will drive how quickly you date again. If you're simply lonely and think you need to date again just for the sake of dating or to test how you'll respond to dating, you may want to do a serious self evaluation regarding your confidence level. You will know when you're ready again to begin dating after divorce - everyone's different. Know yourself first, then make the decision.
Dating after divorce consideration 3: Should I date while going through a divorce?
Most coaches, attorneys, and counselors will tell you that dating while going through a divorce is never a good thing to do from a psychological perspective and a legal perspective. While this article isn't a form of legal advice, common sense tells you that if you're in any type of battle regarding marital assets or custody, avoid any dating.
From an emotional health perspective, dating while going through a divorce can be damaging to you and your "soon to be" ex-spouse. You'll be much more mature after the divorce if you self evaluate to figure out how you contributed to the events that lead to your divorce. Handling yourself in a caring and sturdy emotional manner during a divorce can be an extremely difficult thing to do...but, it is a terrific growing and learning process. Make use of it! Grow as a person and learn about yourself, and you'll be far better off after the divorce is final.
Dating after divorce consideration 4: Consider that you may have a tendency to date someone completely opposite from your spouse and realize that this isn't healthy.
Dating after divorce is tricky! Be smart, realize that the pain you may have felt at the hands of your spouse can naturally lead you to want to date someone who is an opposite of your ex. It is a reasonable and natural reaction because you might want to avoid having any pain whatsoever or you may not want to deal with anyone who might remind you of your ex-spouse.
If you find yourself looking for someone who is your ex's opposite when dating after divorce, take a deep breath and ask yourself if this tactic is truly healthy for you. If you answer 'yes', then you're saying that there was nothing good about your spouse and that you're a poor decision maker or else you would have never gotten married to your ex in the first place!
Instead, think of the things you'd like to see in someone that would make you want to date them and look at the person in and of themselves only. If you see something in them that reminds you of your ex-spouse, decide whether that something is a good trait or an undesirable trait. Only then can you decide about that person in positive fashion. Your spouse has or had some good traits, define what they are and don't be afraid to see those traits in someone that you are dating after divorce.
Dating after divorce consideration 5: Do what you need to in order to have a positive outlook on your future after your divorce.
When thinking about dating after divorce, and all the possible fires that can go with it, keep in mind that you need to feel good about yourself to be lucid. A positive outlook on life is key to everything else, and all the future decisions that you will make after your divorce. Go and do fun things with friends and get out! You should certainly keep your guard up but don't be overly critical of everything or you may get so paralyzed be your analysis that you never actually "get in the game." Your frame of mind on any relationship - friend or not - after divorce is key factor to your happiness. Keeping a clear head and heart is a healthy thing. If you keep these considerations in mind, you'll have a much better time when dating after divorce.
© Karl Augustine, 2005
"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce"
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Close your eyes and imagine this romantic setting: an intimate picnic on the beach, you and your mate enjoying strawberries from a fresh fruit salad, and both of you enjoying the ocean breeze as plans are being made for your next date. All of this, of course, after you jogged with your sweetie on the beach at sunset.
Attract the Love of Your Life
Have you heard about the technique Olympic athletes use to help them win gold medals?In addition to conventional practice, they do some critical mental work as well. They close their eyes and "see" themselves making the winning basket, being first across the finish line, etc.
Dating Rules - Dress Nicely
Wear good clothes, e.g.
Making The Connection: Tips For Getting Noticed
Chances are that you have had a wide variety of experiences in your quest for meeting singles. These can range from an event that yields several nice interactions and at least one offer to get together for a date, to going home feeling frustrated and convinced you are destined to be a dating failure.
Dating After Fifty
Dating at an older age is not too hard. And it can be a lot of fun especially with internet dating.
How To Land The Catch Of Your Life Without Becoming Sharkbait
However you like to do it, dating is a dangerous game. Not talking to strangers might be sound advice to give to kids but as a strategy to stop being single, it has at least one obvious drawback.
Seduction Secrets For Men - How To Make Your Dates Effective And Unforgettable
You are on the first date with a girl you have a crush on. Your palms are sweating, you are trying damn hard to come up with something funny to say, only to have long silences in your conversation.
How to Create A Romantic Dinner for Two on a Pontoon Boat
Before you pick up the phone to make reservations for that romantic dinner for two..
Internet Dating Tips for Beginners
There are lots of Internet dating sites available. Some are completely free and others are payable sites.
How To Find a Great Dating Partner and Have Fun Looking
Internet dating can be great fun for you. It is an easy and painless way to meet some great people you might not normally meet.
Say My Name
Surely you remember that famous line from American Pie, when the band geek says to Jim, "Say my name, Bi*ch!" And Jim squeaks back, "Michelle! Michelle!" Well, take heed, fellows. That band geek was asking for what many of us ladies want to hear, and not just in the heat of the moment.
The Right Dating Site For You
There are so many dating sites on the net these days. The secret is to find a online dating service that will make your quest for a compatible partner successful.
The Deal Breakers
Deal Breakers. Everyone's got them.
Dating mistakes can kill a dating relationship. Do you know what dating mistakes you have made? Do dating mistakes hold your relationship back? And, do mistakes like these get forgotten later on? Dating mistakes are simply things that you just don't do right.
Online Dating - Is Music the Food of Love?
"If music be the food of love, play on". So said William Shakespeare in one of his most famous theatrical lines.
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