Grief & Loss Information


Recently, the magazine I own and edit got a hate letter that was so full of venom and hostility, it gave me shivers. The ultra-religious lady who wrote it is young and passionate about her beliefs. She was quite critical of those who express their grief pain, because she doesn't believe pain is necessary in grief. She evidently thinks that if we would just trust God, we would not be suffering. She is not bereaved, and it would appear that life has not yet delivered to her the kind of agony that so many of us have experienced. However, nothing is wasted if we can learn something from it, and the writer of this letter has opened my eyes to a truth I would like to explore with you, my friends.

It occurred to me that her passionate indignation may come from a place of brittleness in her soul. She seems rigid, judgmental and apparently without tenderness or mercy, and she is positive she is right. I can remember a time in my life when I was almost as sure of everything as she is now, but I hope my approach was a little softer than hers! In the passion of youth and inexperience, it is easy to be pretty cocky about convictions.

However, I can look back with deep appreciation to God for the "different me" that my life experiences have produced. My heart is a lot softer now, and my tolerance is bigger-more stretched and expanded. Now, it's easier for me to forgive, and my judgments are much gentler. I like me a lot better now than I did before I was tried and tested in the furnace of grief. But getting from "there" to "here" has been an excruciatingly painful journey. I have been tenderized!

When we tenderize meat, it can take quite a beating. We break down its fiber and completely change its original form. Sometimes we even put it through a machine that flattens it out, makes it broader and wider (and less dense) and gives it a waffle-like appearance. But because of the breaking down of its tissue, and the rearranging of its cellular structure, it is more delicious and easier to swallow. It can nurture in a much more pleasant way!

Grief is a great tenderizer. Emotionally and psychologically, grief has beaten us around and squeezed us between rollers with merciless spikes, but we can come through on the other side with tenderized understanding, compassion and wisdom.

In the scriptures of the Old Testament, wine was symbolic of joy and cleansing. Used appropriately, it made people feel good and it literally was used in the cleansing of wounds. Oil in scripture was symbolic of healing. It, too, was often used to help heal wounds-in addition to its role in both cooking and lighting. These two substances, wine and oil, were used to bring into the lives of the people joy, healing, light and hope.

But before they could have oil or wine, there had to be a process that crushed the grapes and the olives to produce the new, changed forms. Sometimes one thing has to appear to be destroyed in order to bring about something different that is even more useful and nurturing.

This can be a hard and painful lesson for us. Most of us would have happily settled for olives and grapes and thicker, tougher meat. We don't want to grow because of pain and pressure. Given a choice, I know that I wouldn't have chosen the path of suffering, and I would have stayed in my comfortable rut of smug wisdom.

But since none of us had any real choice, we can take some comfort in knowing that our tenderizing process has been enriching to humanity. We have primarily learned to seek with more honesty, to cut through the peripheral, to serve rather than be served, to care rather than strive to be cared for, to give instead of receiving, and to love instead of castigating.

I guess I'd rather live out the time I have left hoping that just in case my daughter who is on the "other side" can see me now, she can nudge the kid next to her and say proudly, "That's my mom!"

Good Grief Resources ( was conceived and founded by Andrea Gambill whose 17-year-old daughter died in 1976. Almost thirty years of experience in leading grief support gropus, writing, editing, and founding a national grief-support magazine has provided valuable insights into the unique needs of the bereaved and their caregivers and wide access to many excellent resources. The primary goal of Good Grief Resources is to connect the bereaved and their caregivers with as many bereavement support resources as possible in one, efficient and easy-to-use website directory.

She lost her dad when she was 14. Now, she's helping kids learn how to mourn.  CNN

Mary Robinson founded the Imagine center for kids to provide what she didn't have after her father died.

Tragedy, magical thinking, and the lasting impact of grief  The Irish Times

One day, when Geraldine de Brit was just seven years old, her mother and brother left the house and never came back. This is her story of the following days, ...

'Our only hope is in God': New Zealanders gather to pray after shooting  Angelus News

Tears flowed during a Mass for peace at St. Mary's Pro-Cathedral in Christchurch, New Zealand, March 16, one day after terrorist attacked two mosques, leaving ...

We are all victims of a shocking crime against humanity

Friday's deadly mosque shootings in Christchurch, New Zealand are the latest in an increasing string of violent attacks perpetrated against the global Islamic ...

Fort Hood: TAPS program helping grieving families cope with loss  KWTX

Military families from across the world came to Fort Hood this weekend, sharing stories and learning how to heal after the death of their loved one.

'Ways out of the darkness': books for helping with loss  The Guardian

There are different kinds of loss – of self, of someone else, of a dream. Sometimes a book can speak across these boundaries, reaching out from the ...

Dealing with loss of a loved one: Nikki Bush on grief, moving on  EWN

Creative parenting expert Nikki Bush says her life was disrupted and her family dynamic changed after her husband's murder. She opens up on rebuilding after ...

Ask an expert: What can I do to help cope with sudden bereavement?  Irish Examiner

There's no 'right' way to grieve – but you can take steps to help make the process more manageable, says life coach Carole Ann Rice. By Liz Connor.

Gala raises thousands to support grieving parents  Sherwood Park News

A recent masquerade gala raised awareness for baby loss as well as crucial funding for local programming.On Friday, March 15 at the Spark Centre, the Fort ...

Coping With Grief: 7 Things to Remember When Dealing with Loss  On Cancer - Memorial Sloan Kettering

When grief feels unbearable, use these tips to help stay grounded.

Understanding care giving, loss and grief: Andrés Cerpa tackles through poetry

In his debut, "Bicycle in a Ransacked City: An Elegy," poet and editor Andrés Cerpa details the journey of his late father's struggle with Parkinson's as he ...

Meet Camilla Brewer, a Welcoming Face at the LGBTQIA Resource Center  Georgia Tech News Center

Camilla Brewer, coordinator for the LGBTQIA Resource Center, has been in the newly created position since May. “Tech hiring this position has really helped ...

LOTUS group offers support for those grieving a loss  Bismarck Tribune

It was about a month after the death of his wife, Donnie, when Don Lucas of Bismarck started on a journey of sorts.

Guest Column: Tackling the difficult subject of grief  The Delaware County Daily Times

By Tricia Stouch. Times Guest Columnist. Are you thinking do I want to read this article? No one talks about grief! We don't share our feelings about grief.

Coping with grief  News24

Grief is an emotion that everyone has experienced at some time or the other in their lives. It is not a topic that one speaks or talks about easily because grieving ...

'Life won't be same': Grief for Ethiopian Airlines crash victims  Al Jazeera English

Families and friends of those who perished in devastating plane crash struggle to cope with loss of loved ones.

MercyOne to Offer Grief and Loss Support Group  KIOW

MercyOne North Iowa Hospice's Bereavement Department is offering a grief and support group known as Understanding Grief and Loss. This group provides ...

World unites in grief as Ethiopian Airlines crash kills 157  Al Jazeera English

Outpouring of sadness as politicians, diplomats and social media users pay respect to victims from 35 nationalities.

Examining fathers' grief after miscarriage  William & Mary News

Examining grief: William & Mary School of Education doctoral counseling students conducted a study on the often overlooked grief experienced by fathers after a ...

How social media changes our grieving  Religion News Service

(RNS) — Three-year-old Crew Long has been gone a little more than a year and a half. But his mom still talks to him. Sometimes Mandy Long speaks to her son, ...

Archbishop speaks of 'shock, sadness' after 3 teens die at St. Patrick's party  Crux: Covering all things Catholic

A tragic incident at a St. Patrick's Day party in Northern Ireland has turned “joy and celebration” into “shock and sadness,” says Archbishop Eamon Martin of ...

Review: How Amazon's Kate Beckinsale Series, “The Widow,” and Netflix's New Ricky Gervais Show, “After Life,” Get Grief All Wrong  The New Yorker

Troy Patterson reviews the new Netflix series “After Life,” starring Ricky Gervais, and the new Amazon series “The Widow,” starring Kate Beckinsale, which are ...

I Lost a Sketchbook, Too  The New York Times

To the Editor: Sarah Williamson's essay, “My Sketchbooks in a Stranger's Hands” (Sunday Review, March 17), was timely for me. Though I graduated from art ...

Grieving the loss of a loved one - Afternoons  ABC Local

Losing the love of your life can be devastating; the person with whom you've shared so much is no longer there, no longer a part of your life but, even in the ...

Grief group looks to support young adults through loss  WXXI News

As the number of lives lost to opioids continues to grow in the Rochester area, a new support group has formed to reach out to young adults who have lost.

Afghanistan: The children caught in conflict  BBC News

Photographer Andrew Quilty captured stories of children affected by conflict in Afghanistan.

Fighting the isolation of loss: Winnipeg man hopes potlucks help bereaved millennials make connections

After his mom died when he was 24, Ben Simcoe says he had a difficult time talking about it with other people his age. Now, he's starting a Winnipeg chapter of ...

‘In deep grief’: Aid workers, U.N. staff, tourists among victims in Ethiopia plane crash  The Washington Post

ADDIS ABABA, Ethiopia — Among the dead in Sunday's Ethiopian Airlines crash were law students, tourists, writers, academics and a number of aid workers ...

Book Review: 'The White Book,' By Han Kang  NPR

Han Kang's new novel isn't quite a novel — it's a gorgeous, hard-to-categorize series of reflections, themed around the color white, on grief, mourning and what ...

Families grieving a pregnancy loss hit especially hard by medical bills: ‘I wasn’t prepared at all’

Losing a baby can be expensive as giving birth to one, and is a financial burden emotionally tapped-out families are unprepared to handle.

Stevie Johnson Still Carries His Grief Onto the Tennis Court  The New York Times

Johnson's father, who taught him tennis, died two years ago, and it still hangs over Johnson, who recently ended a five-month losing streak.

Get Involved Spotlight: Austin Center For Grief And Loss  KUT

The Austin Center for Grief & Loss (Austin Grief), formerly known as My Healing Place, is a bereavement center founded in Austin, TX in 2007. Founder.

Mary Oliver on Grief and Loss  The New York Times

Oliver, the hugely popular poet, died Thursday. Readers turned to her work to find comfort. Here's a selection of some of her best-known writing on loss and ...

Why anxiety should be added to the 5 stages of grief  Washington Post

A few years ago, I began seeing a surge in anxious clients to my private practice as a grief therapist. They were reporting panic attacks and debilitating anxiety ...

Grief doesn't have five stages  The Outline

If you haven't experienced the death of someone close — someone so important to your life that the loss left you hollowed — then you haven't yet found out what ...

Why We Need to Take Pet Loss Seriously  Scientific American

Scientific American is the essential guide to the most awe-inspiring advances in science and technology, explaining how they change our understanding of the ...

Grief is far more complex than the “five stages” theory suggests  Quartz

Grief can seem desolate for those in the thick of it who often feel unable to imagine a way out of their suffering. But, as time passes, the pain usually dampens or ...

Baby death: 'Nothing can ever prepare you for it'

The country's 19 maternity hospitals have adopted a set of national standards for bereavement care for parents and families who suffer pregnancy loss and ...

The Death of a Parent, Mother or Father, Affects Human Minds and Bodies  Fatherly

Even under the best circumstances, losing a parent changes an adult both psychologically and biologically. Those changes can become pathological.

What to Say (and What Not to Say) to Someone Who’s Grieving  The New York Times

A little empathy goes a long way, especially when someone is recovering from the loss of a loved one. Unfortunately, even when some of us mean well, we ...

The five stages of grief don't come in fixed steps – everyone feels differently  The Conversation - Australia

The process of grieving can happen in stages. But these stages are rarely experienced in the same way by one bereaved person and another.

What Sorry for Your Loss Understands About Grief  The Atlantic

The gorgeous and poignant new drama from Facebook Watch stars Elizabeth Olsen as a young woman whose husband has died.

Pet Death: Emotional Difficulty for People  Healthline

For some people, the death of a pet can be more difficult than the loss of a relative. Here's why.

Good Mourning: An Interactive Arts Festival About Grief and Loss

This series invites artists from Seattle and beyond to show work across mediums that addresses grief. Pieces include a panel from the NAMES Project's AIDS ...

Will I Ever Get Over This Grief?  The New York Times

Nearly four years after the death of her sister, a reader says her pain has only become more pronounced.

With climate change comes loss and "ecological grief"  Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists

Editor's note: This story was originally published by Undark. It appears here as part of the Climate Desk collaboration. When I called Courtney Howard, one of ...

Grief will let go eventually. And then I’ll remember my dad as he was  The Guardian

My father's death made me realise how ill-equipped we are to deal with loss – and the grief that follows, says Guardian columnist Owen Jones.

Schools fall short when it comes to helping students in grief – here's how they can improve  The Conversation - US

When it comes to helping students who've lost a loved one, educators often don't know what to do or say. A pediatrician offers insights on how schools can ...

'Grief looks different person-to-person': The Dinner Party serves up conversation on loss  Generocity

A local organizer of the group that convenes young adults to discuss the impact of loved ones' deaths shares what he learned from a recent Dinner Party panel.

After The Loss Of A Loved One, Your Holiday Traditions Change But Hope Endures  NPR

Grief can be amplified this time of year, whether you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah. Honoring the memory of late family members helps many NPR listeners ...

The Christmas Blues: Tips For Coping With Grief And Loss During The Holidays  KUAR

The holidays can create an extra burden for people struggling after the death of a loved one, a divorce or other stressors throughout the year. Dr. Brittney Schrick ...

At a loss: How losing a loved one can help you take stock of what really matters

I'd lost my husband and then both of my parents, but you have to keep on living, even if everything seems to be against you.

Nick Cave illuminates love and loss in a letter to a fan  Quartz

Nick Cave is anything but a bad seed. The gloomy musician, artist, writer, and actor who looks a bit like a vampire is, in fact, a romantic who takes relationships ...

In 'Sorry For Your Loss,' Creator Explores How To Survive Grief  Forbes

"If you're going to play in the deep end of the swimming pool, you really have to give as much support as possible because you don't know who is watching, ...

'Sorry for Your Loss' Review: A Nuanced Portrait of Grief  Rolling Stone

Grief is a very tough sell as the subject of an ongoing TV show. Whatever catharsis the dramatization might offer in short bursts, the potential for the “Why am I ...

Help Desk: How to console those in mourning  The Boston Globe

It's OK to sit in silence with someone who has suffered a loss. Asking grieving friends or neighbors if you can do something concrete, like mow their lawn or bring ...

How to Talk to a Grieving Customer Daily

“I'm calling on behalf of my partner. He died, and I need to close his account.” When Matt drowned in a fast-moving river, it fell to me to cancel his credit cards, ...

How Grief Became Joe Biden's 'Superpower'  POLITICO

Two tragedies, 43 years apart, have defined the former vice president's life. Have they also made him a more formidable presidential candidate?

Complicated Grief App Designed to Help Military Families Cope with Loss  Columbia University

Feelings of grief after the loss of a loved one are universal. While most people adapt to the loss over a period of time, for some the process is stalled or blocked, ...

Understanding Grief  The New York Times

Grief is not a problem to be solved or resolved. Rather, it's a process to be lived through in whatever form and amount of time it may take.

The First Holiday Without a Loved One  The Atlantic

For the bereaved, getting through the holidays means figuring out how—and whether—to celebrate as in years past.

‘Like therapy, but better’: The holiday dinner party that makes space for grief  The Washington Post

Christmas was always her father's holiday. Courtney Arnold's dad loved the music. He loved the tree. The two of them would sit side-by-side on the floor, sorting ...

After The Anger Fades: When Grieving Finally Begins  Forbes

Until you lose someone, it's hard to know what grief will feel like and, even then, your experience will be unique to the situation. In the movies, people hold hands ...

The horror of grief: how loss is the ultimate boogeyman in Hereditary  The Guardian

The buzzed about shocker, starring Toni Collette, is the latest horror film to recognize the devastating effect of losing a loved one.

Sorry for Your Loss – Facebook's rough and granular journey through grief  The Guardian

The social media giant's first global entry into TV, starring Elizabeth Olsen, is an unsentimental anatomisation of how essentially unknowable our loved ones ...

How to Grieve for Online Friends You Had Never Met in Person  The New York Times

We often use technology to form meaningful relationships with virtual strangers. But what happens when the person on the other side of the screen dies?

Tell Me One More Time What to Do About Grief  The New York Times

Someone is gone. Perhaps this is the first year you had to get used to it, or maybe you've had years of practice with how the calendar keeps going, and it's still ...

Easley family turns grief over losing baby into comfort for sibling survivors  Greenville News

Upstate family helps children who've lost siblings with a Hug from Heaven blankets.

Bethany Lerch commentary: Learning how to process loss and to accept grief  The Oshkosh Northwestern

Bethany Lerch shares her feelings on losing loved ones in the past couple of months and how she has learned how to accept grief.

A name for grief that goes on and on  CNN

Grieving is natural and healthy, but are there cases when it can occur too long or in an unhealthy way? Experts weigh in on complicated grief.

Hope and mourning in the Anthropocene: Understanding ecological grief  The Conversation CA

Ecological grief - the mourning that takes place when we lose parts of the natural world - is likely to affect more of us in the future.

Blue Christmas: It's the most wonderful time of the year — but what if it's not for you?  USA TODAY

The "holiday blues" — feelings of loneliness, loss or isolation that arise during this time of year — is real. Psychologists share tips to fight it.

After a suicide, here’s what happens to the people left behind  USA TODAY

Because of the stigma and array of emotions felt by loss survivors after a loved one's suicide, many do not seek help or support, harming themselves in the ...

Do Animals Experience Grief? | Science  Smithsonian

A growing body of evidence points to how animals are aware of death and will sometimes mourn for or ritualize their dead.

'Sorry For Your Loss' has a lot to say about grief  KPCC

(Starts at 8:57). You might think a series about a grieving widow would be tough to watch, but "Sorry For Your Loss" is anything but. The Facebook Watch show ...

Commentary: Help is here for children who are grieving a loss  Naples Daily News

November is National Children's Grief Awareness month, set aside to educate communities on how children grieve and how specialists can help them heal.

Sorry for Your Loss review: Don’t miss Facebook’s terrific new drama  Vox

The new series charts a young widow's grief and gives Elizabeth Olsen a part worthy of her talent.

Grieving Is A Complicated, Strange Journey  Forbes Now

How you experience grief may be entirely different than anything you expected. Respect your path, be kind to yourself and don't rush the healing process. You'll ...

Funeral offers message of hope and healing for mother grieving loss of 4 children  Greenville News

The four siblings were remembered as "special kids" at Saturday's funeral *service* at Mountain Creek Baptist Church.

After Tragedy, How Survivors Cope  The Wall Street Journal

Losing one family member is hard enough. How does anyone deal with multiple losses? After a duck boat accident killed nine members of one family, others ...

The legacy of grief: Coping with loss  Medical News Today

There are very few things as certain in life as the experience of loss. We have all had, or will have, to say goodbye to someone who we cherish deeply — be it a ...

How the internet is changing the way we grieve  The Conversation - UK

People don't die in the same way that they used to. In the past, a relative, friend, partner would pass away, and in time, all that would be left would be memories ...

Mourning death by suicide: How you can provide support for the bereaved  The Conversation - US

Survivors of those who have died by suicide have special needs that many people do not quite understand. An expert in grief offers ways to be a helpful, healing ...

Past loss and grief played role in her decision to go back to school  Harvard Gazette

Cathy Payne chose to get a degree at the Harvard Extension School to honor the memories of loved ones.

How to cope with loss: Experts' advice to help navigate bereavement

In his 1961 collection, A Grief Observed, the famed poet and author CS Lewis says that, "bereavement is a universal part of the experience of love… it is not the ...

How To Address The Psychological Effects Of Grief In The Workplace  Forbes Now

Learn ways to support your employees when you see signs of their grief at the workplace.

Dear Therapist: Will I Ever Get Over My Wife's Death?  The Atlantic

Editor's Note: Every Wednesday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at ...

Gift Cards Are the New Sympathy Cards  The New York Times

Credits for Seamless, Uber Eats and the like are a very 21st-century way to support a grieving friend.

Grief in the workplace: How to handle death, loss and trauma  ABC Local

What should you say to a colleague who's grieving? Not saying anything can be one of the worst things to do. Here are tips on how to help someone through ...

Review: Elizabeth Olsen Is Revelatory in Facebook’s Sorry for Your Loss  Vanity Fair

First things first: yes, Sorry for Your Loss is a TV show that airs on Facebook. There's a significant chance that you don't know this, but last year, Facebook ...

Kristoff St. John's death calls attention to risks facing suicide loss survivors  USA TODAY

Young and the Restless star Kristoff St. John's death highlights the risks that face survivors of suicide loss. His son Julian St. John died in 2014.

Mesothelioma Grief Guide: Coping with the Loss of a Loved One

It's never easy to lose someone you love. Losing a loved one to an aggressive cancer such as mesothelioma can be even more difficult, because a family ...

Can sport help to come to terms with grief and loss?  BBC Sport

As Jamie Vardy reveals the Leicester team all want to play against Cardiff, BBC Sport asks how other sportspeople have dealt with grief.

Life in nursing homes and assisted living means waking to a neighbor’s death  Washington Post

Residents find someone they saw every day gone. Aides may arrive to find an empty bed.

How to overcome grief's health-damaging effects - Harvard Health  Harvard Health

Grieving over the death of a spouse, friend, or family member exposes people to many months of constant stress that can lead to anxiety, depression, trouble…

Record Review: Anne-Claire Meditates on Grief and Loss on I Still Look For You  The Independent Weekly

Though it's been a long wait between albums for Anne-Claire Niver, it seems I Still Look For You is as much of an emotional release for Niver as it is artistic.

The ‘Disenfranchised Grief’ of Losing Your Job  The Atlantic

Editor's Note: This article is part of Exit Interview, a series of conversations about leaving one's career. It's comforting to know people like Meg Spinella, a hospice ...

When grief came, my world crumbled. I don't want that to happen to you  The Guardian

It's vital that we publicly honour the lives of loved ones, says the rapper and film-maker Professor Green.

Carolyn Hax: After losing both parents at once, grieving takes as long as it takes  The Washington Post

Each member of a family experiences the togetherness and the absences differently.

‘Grief dissolves you. I could no longer sleep upstairs in our bed’  The Irish Times

Éilís Ní Dhuibhne on the death of her husband Bo, the subject of her new memoir.

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