I feel now is the perfect time to address the conflict service-members face when balancing between what they feel are infringements upon their civil liberties cast down by their president.†
I have never been one to get involved with inter-service rivalries because I have always felt we must remain, "We band of brothers" and support and defend our own constitutions against all enemies, either foreign wives or domestic.† (I am of course referring to wives in the singular sense.)†
So let us, as Abraham Lincoln said, "Cast aside our differences" and as the modern day philosopher Marshall Mathers raps, "Let's get down to business.† I've got no time to play around what is this."†
You may be the senior man at work, but your wife is the Commander in Chief of the House or (CINCHOUSE).† You say this because you believe in the immortal words of our 16th CINC, Abraham Lincoln when he said, "A house divided against itself is sure to fall."†
You also know that it's not always advisable to follow the advice of our 1st CINC because, "Honesty is (NOT) always the best policy."† If you chop down a cherry tree, in order to preserve good order and discipline, you don't tell the truth.† You blame it on the kids because if you don't, she might draft a Declaration of Independence, throw you in the harbor, and declare a revolution.††††
You realize you have "No convening legal authority." †If something goes wrong at home or a bill needs to be paid, Harry Truman summed it up best when he said, "The buck stops here."† The buck always stops with you.†
You need to "Walk softly and carry a big stick," of money because if you don't she's not afraid to drop the bomb on you.† Two, if she has to and you're liable to be put, not in the White House, but impeached to the dog house.† All the while proclaiming like Nixon that, "I am not a crook," and "You won't have me to kick around anymore."
It's at this stage you realize you serve at the discretion of the President and need to "Read her lips" and "Ask not what she can do for you but what you can do for her."
There's no need to, "Tear down that wall."† Do your best to fit into her "Great Society" because you won't be getting a "New Deal."
You must sing, "Hail to the Chief" because in the immortal words of the great disco song, "She's a CINC ???..HOUSE!"††
What military men need to realize is when you get married you pledge an oath to support and defend the constitution, but she will amend your constitution?† There will be no hearings, and there will be not one vote.† She has the bully pulpit and the mandate.† All you can do is cry to your buddies, "Man, this is an infringement upon my rites."†
There comes a time in every military man's career, usually the first day of boot camp or marriage when you realize you must "Obey the orders of the president and all officers (Her mother) appointed over me."††††††††
Needless to say, as it pertains to the institution of marriage.† I have decided not to be a lifer.† Someday a recruiter might be able to sell me on a lifetime self-commitment to the CINCHOUSE, but for now I prefer to be a conscientious objector.
Michael P. Westhead is the founder of www.cutthroatcomedy.com which features original quotes, jokes, cartoons, products, and articles focusing on politics, current events and life in general.
Humor: Crafty ideas that'll trick your loved ones into thinking you are indeed broke The Aggie
'Tis the season to be stingy. So, you've got people thinking you're a walking, talking, credit-free, interest-free, ATM machine? Well, if that's you crying in the ...
A Presidency Without Humor The New York Times
Good jokes highlight the ridiculous. Trump's jokes merely ridicule.
Palace intrigue: Sex, humor, and elaborate costumes define The Favourite C-VILLE Weekly
Emma Stone and Olivia Colman star in The Favourite, a delightfully wicked twist on British period dramas. Image courtesy Fox Searchlight. Arts ¬∑ Kristofer Jenson.
Remembering the statesmanship and humor of George HW Bush MinnPost
Of all his accomplishments, the late President George H.W. Bush was exceptionally successful in foreign policy. He had demonstrated his mettle for diplomacy, ...
Mode Project helps Laughlin add humor to Acuity spot ReelChicago
Relatable situations go from anxious to happy in Acuity Insurance spots by Mode Project and Laughlin Constable that have earned a million online views.
Bugging out: Spider-Verse finds humor, thrills in untangling comic-book web - Columbia Daily Tribune
Bugging out: Spider-Verse finds humor, thrills in untangling comic-book web Columbia Daily Tribune
If you're exhausted by all the different reboots of the iconic web-slinging superhero, ‚ÄúSpider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse‚ÄĚ understands. Instead of lazily retreading ...
Chatological Humor (Dec. 11) Washington Post
Gene Weingarten brings you an update to his monthly Chatological Humor live chat.
Round Rock Police Warn Of Holiday Crime Scourge With Humor Round Rock, TX Patch
Round Rock Police Warn Of Thefts In Fun Way - Round Rock, TX - It's not easy using humor when alerting to theft, yet law enforcement officials pull it off with ...
Psychotherapist finds humor in darkness by writing hilarious self-help book covers. GOOD
The titles are everything you're thinking but never say out loud.
Fragrant armpits, napping aides, corny duck jokes: George H.W. Bush‚Äôs wonderful humor - The Washington Post
Fragrant armpits, napping aides, corny duck jokes: George H.W. Bush‚Äôs wonderful humor The Washington Post
When George H.W. Bush was vice president, he sat down one night for a quiet dinner in Boise, Idaho. What he ordered that evening is less germane to this ...
Why humor is what our politics is missing CNN
A memorial *service* isn't the most likely place to be reminded of why laughing matters so much in life -- and in politics.
Emily Ratajkowski hides 'dark' sense of humor | Celebrities PostBulletin.com
Model Emily Ratajkowski has admitted she doesn't like to revel her "dark" sense of humor to her fans becuse she isn't sure whether they'd hit the right note.
Humor: This Article is Not Offensive The Aggie
I am pleased to announce that my articles are no longer extremely offensive, and I'm no longer a horrible person I am reformed. After recen.
Wisconsin legislator: Racially charged meme 'posted in humor' Channel3000.com - WISC-TV3
A white Wisconsin legislator who posted a racially charged meme on his Facebook page says he meant nothing racist by it.
Humor: Mr. Trump or: How I learned to stop worrying and sell weapons to the Saudis The Aggie
EMBRACE THE BOMBS! Ugh. I'm so bored. I just feel like making absurd amounts of cash through selling disgusting degrees of dangerous weapons to the ...
Five Signs You're Behind In The Digital Age In Colorado (Humor) kool1079.com
For many of us, the flat refusal to advance into the 21st century is the only way we can hang on to what was.
How To Use Humor To Break Through Barriers And Grow Your Business Forbes
Imagine that you are 15, homeless and pregnant, alone in a big city after having spent your entire life living in a small village. Where would you turn? How would ...
Bush celebrated with praise and humor at cathedral farewell 8News
George H.W. Bush was celebrated with high praise and loving humor Wednesday as the nation bade farewell to the man who was America's 41st president and ...
Despite the name, there‚Äôs no friction in this duo‚Äôs music Tallahassee.com
Contemporary folk music duo Friction Farm will perform Saturday, December 22, 7:30 pm, at the Unitarian Universalist Church, at 2810 N. Meridian Road.
Dog the Bounty Hunter: Beth Has Sense of Humor Amid Cancer Battle inTouch Weekly
Duane 'Dog' Chapman, aka 'Dog the Bounty Hunter,' tells In Touch magazine exclusively that Beth Chapman still has her sense of humor amid her cancer ...
How Mark Twain Championed Self-Government With Humor And Realism The Federalist
Mark Twain rejected the simplistic, good-guys-always-win type of Sunday school stories with overtly moral themes that he was raised on.
15 Funny Holiday Cards For Couples With A Sense Of Humor HuffPost
While some couples are into sentimental, thoughtful gifts, others prefer to keep their S.O. on their toes. If you're a couple who hates cutesy stuff, no generic ...
As married couples age, humor replaces bickering Medical Xpress
Honeymoon long over? Hang in there. A new University of California, Berkeley, study shows those prickly disagreements that can mark the early and middle ...
Memories of Bush humor brought smiles to sorrowful farewell Economic Times
WASHINGTON (AP) ‚ÄĒ Memories of George H.W. Bush's underappreciated sense of humor drew laughter and brought smiles to the sorrowful mourning of the ...
Irish sitcom ‚ÄėFinding Joy‚Äô discovers humor in a hopeless place The Washington Post
Ireland is offering us a delightful and often ribald screwball comedy. ‚ÄúFinding Joy,‚ÄĚ a hit in Ireland, began streaming on Acorn TV this month. The titular Joy (Amy ...
Gammons: Celebrating the career, talent, kindness and humor... The Athletic
Jayson is one of those rare persons who has done what he always wanted to do, and has done it creatively, uniquely, fairly and without agenda. And he's done it ...
Humor - even in sorrow- unites Beckley Register-Herald
I'll say it like it is: our 41st president just recently passed. But considering that this has been roaming all over our television screens and seeped within our daily ...
Bush celebrated with praise and humor at funeral ABC Action News
George H. W. Bush was celebrated with high praise and loving humor Wednesday as the nation bade farewell to the man who was America's 41st president and ...
HUMOR: Puppy love | Art Santa Maria Sun
My life is essentially a postage stamp of what some people consider the American dream. I'm married and I have two kids, a boy and a girl. I pay the...
Harolds Wife tells story of grief with humor StarNewsOnline.com
Book review: "The Testament of Hugo's Wife" by Lynne Hugo follows a retired schoolteacher coping with the deaths of her husband and grandson.
Grace, humor to the end Concord Monitor
George H.W. Bush didn't lose his sense of humor even as he was letting go of life.Surrounded by loved ones Friday night as he lay in bed at home in Houston, ...
Humor, hemp help grow Potty Mouth Sisters' business Green Bay Press Gazette
With a blend of holistic products and humor, two local sisters are building a business that is growing far beyond their expectations.
Depression memes: Is this dark style of humor helping or hurting Generation Z? Mustang News
Lilly Leif is a 2nd year English major and Mustang News columnist. The views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Mustang News. With today's political ...
Humor: Student engages in chess match, banjo duel, game of wits with Satan in battle for GPA - The Aggie
Humor: Student engages in chess match, banjo duel, game of wits with Satan in battle for GPA The Aggie
The devil went down to Wellman 2 For one student, getting the grades they need for grad school wasn't a matter of hard work. Instead, it.
‚ÄúThe Book of Liz‚ÄĚ smothered with cheese ball humor The Oakland Press
Cheese balls are the only source of income for the religious community of Clusterhaven, where its people, the Squeamish, live in a parish, keeping to ...
Sammy Sussman: Offensive humor and forced introspection The Michigan Daily
This past weekend, my friend and I went to see ‚ÄúCandide.‚ÄĚ After the show, we couldn't stop talking about the controversial and potentially offensive nature of ...
The Instagram of Sisyphus The New Yorker
Hayley Phelan illustrates a humorous Instagram interaction between the Greek god Zeus and the highly motivated Sisyphus.
ECA honors achievement with humor Mount Airy News
DOBSON ‚ÄĒ Surry County Extension and Community Association (ECA) clubs held its 81st-annual achievement program in the Surry County Government ...
Hanukkah celebration in Boxford blends faith, education, humor Wicked Local North of Boston
Boxford Police Chief James Riter and Rabbi Asher Bronstein, of Chabad Lubavitch of Merrimack Valley, hosted a Hanukkah celebration in Boxford that included ...
Studio's Cry It Out Finds Humor in the Agony of Early Motherhood Washington City Paper
The 90-minute production is perfect for those with limited entertainment time.
Trump Suddenly Expresses Deep Concern About Conditions in Nation‚Äôs Prisons The New Yorker
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)‚ÄĒIn a sudden departure from his previous views on incarceration, Donald J. Trump said on Monday that he was ‚Äúvery, very ...
Wacky World of Rubber: Nectar bets on science, humor in new ad campaign - Rubber & Plastics News - RubberNews.com
Wacky World of Rubber: Nectar bets on science, humor in new ad campaign - Rubber & Plastics News RubberNews.com
Nectar Sleep gets it. Science sells.Late last month, Nectar launched a YouTube ad featuring Mayim Bialik, who probably is best known for her portrayal of ...
Rob Tanchum's New Comedy Album Finds Humor In Mental Health TheFix.com
Rob Tanchum drew from his own mental health issues to create his new rap/comedy album Disturbed, Depressed, Inadequate.
Humor on the High Plains The Garden City Telegram
HAYS ‚ÄĒ It's been quite a year for Valerie Brown-Kuchera.The Quinter woman started a new job at Fort Hays State University teaching English composition and ...
Dean's Men Measure Misfortune With Humor The Chicago Maroon
Claudio's sister Isabella (Sabrina Sternberg) and Claudio's friend Lucio (Franziska Harling) in "Measure for Measure". Courtesy of Natalia Rodriguez ...
'SNL' Fondly Recollects George H.W. Bush's Sense Of Humor HuffPost
Bush "was famously a very warm and gracious man who understood the power in being able to laugh at yourself.‚ÄĚ
10 times George H.W. Bush's humor brought laughter to his loved ones in mourning Washington Post
Amid tears, loved ones delivering eulogies at George H.W. Bush's memorial services remembered the times the former president made them laugh.
At second memorial service, Bush remembered for humility and humor WAAY
(CNN) -- Former President George H.W. Bush was remembered Thursday as a man of humility, honor and humor at the Bushes' family church in Houston, ...
Tarentum pastor remembered for serving community, sense of humor Tribune-Review
Growing up, Adam Blythe remembers people calling and coming to the door of his family's home seeking help from his father, Pastor Gregory Blythe.
'The Front Runner' has smart balance of humor, drama Victoria Advocate
Back in the day, the press used to turn a blind eye to philandering politicians. From the Kennedys and Lyndon Baines Johnson to Franklin D. Roosevelt, the ...
Humor: MAGA for the Win! California fires actually started by brave pro-Trump activist to protest ‚Äúpoor forest management‚ÄĚ - The Aggie
Humor: MAGA for the Win! California fires actually started by brave pro-Trump activist to protest ‚Äúpoor forest management‚ÄĚ The Aggie
Now that's how you do the First Amendment! Recent reports revealed that the wildfires that devastated towns like Pleasure, California were not, in fact, caused ...
'Hawk Shop' celebrates 500th episode with more humor, more barbs and a jobless monkey - Fairbanks Daily News-Miner
'Hawk Shop' celebrates 500th episode with more humor, more barbs and a jobless monkey Fairbanks Daily News-Miner
FAIRBANKS ‚ÄĒ With 11 years and 499 episodes under his belt, David Hawkins doesn't buy into what his rating agency has to say about ‚ÄúThe Hawk Shop.‚ÄĚ
Trump Names TV Remote New Chief of Staff The New Yorker
Andy Borowitz jokes that, after being turned down by Nick Ayers, Donald Trump has named his remote control as his new White House chief of staff.
Humor: I am UC Davis' preeminent keyboard warrior The Aggie
My comprehension skills are off the charts I'm the number-one keyboard warrior at UC Davis. I earned this distinction after years of hun.
Holidays, Humor, and Twitter Boost the National Audubon Society's Image - The Chronicle of Philanthropy
Holidays, Humor, and Twitter Boost the National Audubon Society's Image The Chronicle of Philanthropy
The National Audubon Society, for years, was the butt of jokes poking fun at its old-fashioned image. It couldn't catch a break, even when profiled in the New ...
Musician Jeff Tweedy displays sense of humor in his memoir Associated Press
"Let's Go (So We Can Get Back)" (Dutton), by Jeff Tweedy In his memoir, "Let's Go (So We Can Get Back)," Jeff Tweedy, frontman of the American rock band ...
No one had a greater sense of humor than Bush, says former press secretary CNBC
Peter Roussel, former press secretary under George H.W. Bush, speaks with 'Squawk on the Street' about one of George H.W. Bush's favorite jokes.
Humor: Student mistakes my ‚Äúethnic food‚ÄĚ for foul-smelling feet The Aggie
Toe jam or rice and stew? From Japanese cuisine to Indian delicacies, pungent odor seems to be the common issue for Americans ‚ÄĒ dare I s.
Humor: Playground installs another ‚Äútoy‚ÄĚ for kids to hurt themselves on The Aggie
It worked for the French revolutionaries, not sure why it won't work here‚ÄĚ Most people look at the city council's recent decision.
Arts & Ends: Documentaries enliven SF‚Äôs Italian film fest with humor, realism - San Francisco Chronicle
Arts & Ends: Documentaries enliven SF‚Äôs Italian film fest with humor, realism San Francisco Chronicle
A lot of people know about Italian feature films, the storied Rome movie studio Cinecitt√† ‚Äúand the golden age of neorealism,‚ÄĚ says Nancy Fishman, producer of ...
Game Faces: Crunch goalie Connor Ingram balances success with humor (video) syracuse.com
Syracuse Crunch goalie Connor Ingram tells Brent Axe how he balances recent on-ice success with a little humor in the latest "Game Faces" video.
Runner Hopes Humor Can Elevate Her Performance CBS Denver
One Colorado woman has decided to go all in to become one of the best runners in the world. Brittany Charboneau hopes a sense of humor can get her all the ...
Humor: After being fired by The Aggie, I apologize for the deeply offensive article I recently wrote - The Aggie
Humor: After being fired by The Aggie, I apologize for the deeply offensive article I recently wrote The Aggie
I'm beyond repentant. Five weeks ago, I wrote an extremely offensive article. Due to the intense backlash to the Article, The Aggie promptly fired me. In fact, you ...
Experts Say Humor in the Workplace Can Help Your Career WWLTV.com
Let's get down to business. Experts in the workplace say laughing and humor at work can actually help your career. Buzz60's Mercer Morrison has the story.
How humor can change your relationship Myjoyonline.com
Are couples with similar sense of humor more satisfied in their relationships?
Visiting Our Past: Two examples of mountain humor, old style Asheville Citizen-Times
‚ÄúIf any person shall, on any public road or highway and in the hearing of two or more persons, in a loud and boisterous manner, use indecent or profane ...
Wounded warrior displays his sense of humor on new Netflix series Stars and Stripes
Senior Master Sgt. Israel Del Toro Jr., survivor of a 2005 roadside bomb blast in Afghanistan, appeared on an episode of "Bumping Mics With Jeff Ross & Dave ...
Humor and acceptance oust conflict and bickering in long-time marriages ZME Science
Years of marriage puts bickering to rest and fosters humor and acceptance instead, new research reveals. Old couple. Image credits Ellen / Pixabay. You may ...
Humor for the Heartbroken PsychCentral.com
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. ~ Matt Groening Social.
Bush retained sense of humor to the very end, Jim Baker says | News, Sports, Jobs Maui News
The Associated Press WASHINGTON ‚ÄĒ George H.W. Bush didn't lose his sense of humor even as he was letting go of life. Surrounded by loved ones Friday ...
Chatological Humor Washington Post
Gene Weingarten brings you an update to his monthly Chatological Humor live chat.
Turn tension into humor at Elly Lonon's workshop on how to discuss politics The Daily Tar Heel
Discussing politics doesn't always have to end in a yelling match. Learn how to turn heated debates humorous from McSweeney's columnist and satire writer ...
Oregon tries humor in fight against salmonella Bend Bulletin
If you tweet about your Thanksgiving meal preparations Thursday, don't be surprised if you get a response from salmonella. The Oregon Health Authority has ...
When dealing with impertinence, don't lose your sense of humor EJ Insight
A recent advertising campaign mounted by Italian fashion brand Dolce & Gabbana (D&G) has provoked a firestorm of controversy in the mainland. The online ...
Pump House concert, play to offer holiday humor La Crosse Tribune
Jonathan Lamb is bringing plenty of Christmas cheer to The Pump House Regional Arts Center this holiday season, first with a special concert and then with a ...
HUMOR: My Letter to Santa ‚Äď Pagosa Daily Post News Events & Video for Pagosa Springs Colorado - Pagosa Daily Post
HUMOR: My Letter to Santa ‚Äď Pagosa Daily Post News Events & Video for Pagosa Springs Colorado Pagosa Daily Post
Santa Claus ran a large display ad in our local newspaper last week. ‚ÄúHey Kids! Send a letter to Santa and his elves at the North Pole!‚ÄĚ I didn't recall seeing ads ...
Humor: Man who smells good confused as to whether he himself smells good or his ability to smell is good - The Aggie
Humor: Man who smells good confused as to whether he himself smells good or his ability to smell is good The Aggie
It's a classic conundrum. Holding his arm up to his face, Tyler S. Mell, or ‚ÄúNose Goes,‚ÄĚ as he is more affectionately known by his drinking buddies, takes a good ...
How a Filmmaker Used Humor to Shift Public Perception About Adoption D Magazine
Sean Anders based Instant Family in part on his own experiences before and adopting three children from the foster-care system.
Wayne Abernathy built businesses, legacy. Loved ones remember his humor, devotion - Gainesville Times
Wayne Abernathy built businesses, legacy. Loved ones remember his humor, devotion Gainesville Times
Philip Wilheit Sr. still chuckles at the memory of his close friend, L. Wayne Abernathy, preparing to speak at a business function, following on the heels of an ...
Highway message boards deliver safe driving message with humor WTHR
They're everywhere. Those electronic message boards along America's highways.
Why James Wan (and a sense of humor) should inspire hope for 'Aquaman' KSDK.com
Will Aquaman actually be good? The question that has flooded the minds of comic book film fans and moviegoers for the past two years. From the moment Zack ...
Jerry Davis' DeerTrails: Try to find the humor in your deer hunt Madison.com
During the past year, when examining deer and deer hunting images on my camera and computer, I could see a cartoon needing a caption in some images with ...
Fallen paramedic Zach Pruitt remembered for his heart for service, humor Jackson Sun
It takes a special heart to serve in Emergency Medical Services, and Zachary Quinn Pruitt had a heart for *service*, according to the hundreds gathered for his ...
Iowa wrestling notes: Hawkeyes mix plenty of humor with hard work The Gazette
IOWA CITY ‚ÄĒ Iowa wrestling has battled the misperception that the environment is all work and no fun. The stereotypes started to crack when former ...
Humor: UC Davis administration says class cancellations still ‚Äúup in the air‚ÄĚ The Aggie
Get it? When questioned by The California Aggie about the status of class cancellations and the continuation of the quarter after this wee.
Humor: Black Friday proves that money can buy things to be thankful for The Aggie
Saving money by spending money Thanksgiving break can provide a welcome interlude in Fall Quarter, allowing students to take a breath, reflect.
Celebrate Armistice Day with British Humor in Alexandria Alexandria Gazette Packet
By Steve Hibbard ¬∑ Wednesday, December 5, 2018 ¬∑ Sign in to favorite this; Discuss Comment, Blog about; Share this Email, Facebook, Twitter. #‚ÄúChristmas at ...
Instant Family highlights the Humor, Joy of the Foster, Adoption Experience - The Chronicle of Social Change
Instant Family highlights the Humor, Joy of the Foster, Adoption Experience The Chronicle of Social Change
Instant Family: New Comedy Starring Mark Wahlberg Highlights the Humor, Joy of the Foster and Adoption Experience, Based on Director Sean Anders ...
Grand Blanc Twp. PD issue holiday reminder, with side of humor nbc25news.com
GRAND BLANC TOWNSHIP, Mich -- The Grand Blanc Police Department issued a holiday reminder with a side of humor Sunday. In a post on Facebook, the ...
Bishop's Mollie Scott seeing life with grace and humor Sierra Wave
‚ÄúThe only disability in life is a bad attitude.‚ÄĚ ‚Äď quote from Scott Hamilton, 1984 U.S. Olympic Gold Medalist Skater. Hamilton was born with a congenital brain ...
Letter to the editor: No humor in guns Tribune-Review
I find it irresponsible and insensitive that the Tribune-Review and Kim Ward would treat any story involving a gun in a lighthearted and 'humorous' way, given the ...
George H.W. Bush celebrated with praise and humor in Washington farewell Anchorage Daily News
The nation bade farewell Wednesday in Washington to the 41st president, the last to fight for the U.S. in wartime.
Exclusive: Letters reveal Bush the humorous, kind businessman Chron
George H.W. Bush was widely known as a skilled politician and diplomat, but less known is that he was a risk-taking entrepreneur who helped break new ...
DEER TRAILS: Humor helps hunters | Regional news | wiscnews.com Portage Daily Register
Gun deer season can be a tense time for some. Hunters are often excited, nervous and even anxious about getting into a forest on time, before someone gets to ...
Dot confronts the realities of Alzheimer's with humor Yes! Weekly
Dot directed by Miller Lucky Jr., takes a humorous and poignant look at Alzheimer's disease and its effect on a middle-class Philadelphia family. Alzheimer's ...
Movie review: ‚ÄėRalph Breaks the Internet‚Äô is full of heart, humor, energy - Heber Springs Sun-Times
Movie review: ‚ÄėRalph Breaks the Internet‚Äô is full of heart, humor, energy Heber Springs Sun-Times
Have you ever imagined the internet as a booming metropolis where familiar e-logos adorn towering skyscrapers gleaming down on a bustling city center?
Sense of humor helps with 109-year-old's longevity | News, Sports, Jobs Altoona Mirror
It's been a modest life but a long one. And apparently Helen Meredith of Epworth Manor in Tyrone, who recently celebrated her 109th birthday with family memb.
Native Humor: Native Christmas memes and comics to get you into the holiday mood - Indian Country Today Media Network
Native Humor: Native Christmas memes and comics to get you into the holiday mood Indian Country Today Media Network
We all love the internet cannon fodder known as memes. Those sarcastic, funny, one-panel comic photos that people make and share on social media.
Former Newporter Releases Holiday-Themed Humor Books NewportNow
With a name like Mifflin Lowe, he had to get into publishing. Former Newporter Lowe, the author of dozens of books, songs and off-beat comic publications, is.
Letter: O'Connor's stories dispense doses of humor and meaning Buffalo News
First, I must state that I don't know Bob O'Connor and have never met him. However, I like the recent letter writer, have over time read O'Connor's various writ‚Ä¶
How to Build a Cobblestone House
He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down - certainly not if the house was built with cobblestones. Building cobblestone houses was a folk art that flourished in upstate New York from 1825 until the Civil War in 1860.
Humor Quotations - Top 35 Funny Quotations by Famous Comedians
"Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education and brains the average man would make a good lawyer - and so would the average lawyer.
Health Club Regulars -- Some of the People Youre Likely To Meet at the Gym
One of the great benefits of belonging to a health club is the huge variety of exercise equipment that's available. It's also a great place to meet and observe a wide cross section of society.
Local Author Joins History and Humor To Tell His Stories
Joseph Yakel was born and raised in New York's Capital region, and calls this place home. His travels have taken him far and wide, but it's his hometown surroundings that serve as a backdrop for his writing.
Wanted: Treadmill for an Elephant
Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983. The Zoo recently decided that Maggie needs nicer quarters, more attention, and a treadmill.
The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players
Here, for your barfing pleasure, are the top ten worst jokes of all time about piano players. Nothing personal, you understand, since I am one.
Sweet Vengeance Purrfected
I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just something about them that makes me relate to them so easily.
Not Your Average Sunday Morning
Just recently my ex-husband stopped in to visit during his vacation. In the course of small talk, a few old memories usually crop up in the conversation.
How I Spent my Summer Vacation
One of the best parts of a vacation is the positive outlook you derive from pleasant anticipation. Another benefit is the afterglow, allowing you to feel right with the world.
Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the negative energy of a certain disruptive person from your life, or from your mind, if the person in question has moved on? Consider the cleansing (and giggle-inspiring) effect of Voodoo Munchies. Beginning now, whenever you need to deal with this person or the dirty bathtub ring of negative vibes they left in your head, bake a cake or a cookie (depending on your eating habits and kitchen skills) and decorate it with this person's name and or likeness.
I've never really thought of myself as being funny. I don't have much of a sense of humor at all.
Finding Lost Children
A couple of days ago I had to go to a dealership to get my car fixed. I am not implying that I don't want my car to have children, because who am I to make that choice? More so, I was sent a letter about a recall on one of the parts (the hazards, actually), meaning that the dealership was obligated to fix my car while I watched television and drank free coffee from a vending machine?"This is quite a deal," you may be thinking.
Starbucks Going into Hilton
Well, I hope you did not read that headline wrong, Crew Member Starbucks is not doing Paris Hilton. What I am saying here is Starbucks will now be offered in some Hilton Hotels.
I Got to Play an April Fools Joke Before I was Born
I will start this by saying that yes, I did miss being an April Fool, but only by a tiny margin. I was born just twenty minutes after midnight on April 2nd, and the events of the prior day in my home were quite interesting to say the least.
If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart)
Banish Loans ForeverIf ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank..
How To Get Attention, or: As You Read This, You Feel an Irresistible Urge to Go On Reading!
We all want attention. As children we crave the attention of our parents.
Pee Here Now
Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my new insurer sent a uniformed nurse with short black hair to my house to conduct a health assessment. We sat at my kitchen table and she officiously asked questions about my health history.
Marines Dont Take Crap
We live in a world of widgets.† People manufacture, distribute, and sell them.
Humans are like Monkeys
Humans think much like monkeys and other primates, not much different in their abilities to reason. Why is this? We mimic, copy, imitate that which we see.
The Restaurant Chronicles, Part 1
Have you ever heard that saying, "The show must go on"? When you hear it, you think of what is commonly referred to as "Show-biz," don't you? But where can you go to see the best acting money can buy, any day of the week? No, I'm not talking about the theatre or TV. I'm talking about the "Restaurant-biz.
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