Humor Information

How To Get Attention, or: As You Read This, You Feel an Irresistible Urge to Go On Reading!

We all want attention. As children we crave the attention of our parents. Later in life, we want to be seen and noticed by friends and family. And when running most any type of business, we must attract the attention of our potential customers.

But how do you get somebody's undivided attention? When you were an infant, you got attention by screaming and crying. Then your parents knew you needed your diapers changed. As an adult, you can try using the same method to get noticed. Sure, you will get noticed - but in a negative way!

On the Internet, every website that is selling something has the need to be attention-grabbing within seconds; to make the visitors read about their offer rather than just clicking away. Some are then tempted to use the infant method of getting attention: screaming and yelling.

Popup-windows that pop up in your face and obscure the page text you're just trying to read, is one example. Flash-generated intro's that stop you in your tracks and say "Heeey, wait - before you read about our products I've got this f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c visual effect to show you...!" is another example of attention-grabbing contraptions that actually defeat their own purpose. They visually yell and scream at you, and draw your attention to the fact that you'd better spend your precious time somewhere else.

Then there is the type of web page that plays some sound effect the moment you arrive. Either it is a piece of music (always just the kind you hate!) or a recorded sales pitch.

Oh yes, then there is the Blinking Text... which blinks at frantic pace, just right to trigger an epileptic seizure.

One of my websites is called "The Hosting Finder". Primarily, it offers some reviews of carefully selected web hosting companies. I am not selling anything on this website, and so I do not feel it would be appropriate to use a hard-selling jargon in my introductory headline. Right now, it reads:

"Finding a Web Hosting Provider That Will Take Good Care of Your Precious Web Pages ... Can Be Confusing"

(I then explain how I researched the web to find good hosting services based on un-biased customer ratings rather than hype.)

Recently, a marketing consultant offered to look at this website and give me some feedback at no cost. I accepted, and after checking my landing page he declared the headline to be "generic and bland". Instead, he suggested the following:

"Want An Objective 'Client Feedback' Guide To Help You Find A 100% Trustworthy, Inexpensive, And Complete Web Hosting Service Provider (Based On Survey Results, Not Marketing Propaganda) -- With All The Options You Need To Run Your Web Site Smoothly And Successfully?

Avoid The Hosting Nightmare Of Trying To Keep Your Site Live And Running Smoothly... Stop Wasting Time And Money In Costly Bad Service"

In my reply, I thanked him for his trouble. I also pointed out that this flood of words might not be the optimal way of building confidence in my integrity as the provider of impartial reviews on web hosting.

Maybe I am wrong, who knows. Perhaps I should start yelling and screaming just like everybody else? But I just don't like the idea of doing that. I'd rather hypnotize people into reading my texts. Some marketing gurus advocate this approach. Here are a few examples of how you're supposed to hypnotize people:

1. As you keep reading this ad copy, you are feeling more and more compelled to experience all the benefits of our product.

2. The more you understand just how valuable our product could be to your life, the less you think about delaying this important purchase.

3. After you read this short ad you will feel like your problems are almost completely solved, all you will have to do is order.

Well, don't you feel compelled to reach for your wallet right now?! These examples are not intended as a joke; they are seriously trying to persuade people. And maybe they are, although I personally find them more amusing than hypnotizing. - I'll make a pause here; I just feel I have to go out and buy something! :-)

OK, I am back. Time to finish this little essay on how to get attention. Oh, you have read this far? So I have managed to keep your attention then! I did it by ... no, I won't give my secret away. You'll have to read my Special Report, which I'm selling for ONLY $97. But hurry, this exclusive limited special offer is expiring, and will always expire, at midnight; whatever day you happen to read this! :-)

Kai Virihaur is a researcher, web developer, and artist. He runs The Hosting Finder ( ), a web hosting directory featuring articles and RSS feeds on web development, website promotion, and online marketing.

The article may be used freely as long as this resource box, with intact hyperlink, is included.

Wintour pays tribute to Lagerfeld's generosity, humor  KOMO News

MILAN (AP) — Anna Wintour has paid tribute to Karl Lagerfeld's generosity and sense of humor as she presented a new fashion exhibition. The American Vogue ...

City of Albert Lea Uses Humor To Share Messages on Facebook  KAAL

"We wanted to have fun when it was really cold, and we thought that doing something new on our Facebook page would be welcome at this time of year, given ...

Study finds humor is associated with positive outcomes in psychotherapy  PsyPost

The presence of humor during therapy sessions is associated with improved outcomes, according to a new study published in The American Journal of ...

Warm up with cold humor  Port Townsend Leader

We've had more snow around here lately than in many years. Stores closed, no mail, etc. But, as my wife keeps pointing out, it's nothing compared to what we ...

Humor: One more round with Millie the Possum  New Bern Sun Journal

I would like to spend one more week berating the unfortunate plight of Millie the 'Possum.As I explained last week, Brasstown, a western North Carolina town of ...

Natural Language-Focused AI From OpenAI Shows Promise, Creates Stories With Humor  Forbes

An AI research company called OpenAI may have developed the most advanced language-processing algorithm thus far. It is keeping it under wraps due to the ...

Humor: Liam Neeson proves he's not racist by vividly recalling a racist moment in his life  The Aggie

As if Black History Month couldn't get any better, it looks like the 66-year-old star of “Taken,” Liam Neeson, mistook his press interview with The Independent for ...

Charlie Harp remembered for his humor, conviction  Lexington Dispatch

When thinking about his friend Charlie Harp, Bill Fritts recalled the time he, Harp and a group of other lawyers took on a capital murder case in Salisbury.

New Randolph College play mixes drama, humor and religion  Lynchburg News and Advance

In the new play “Black Chicken,” written by Randolph College graduate Travis Byram, 14-year-old Randi Colby is afraid to tell her religious parents that she's an ...

How to Use Humor to Become Happier and More Successful  Psychology Today

Having a sense of humor should help you be appreciated more positively but new research shows how gender factors into the equation when people tell jokes.

Hybrid dance performance to subvert 'stuckness' with humor, self-reflection  Daily Bruin

Pearl Marill will break out a life-size puppet of herself on stage as a symbol of self-reflection. Marill, an artist well-acquainted with San Francisco's performance ...

The Many Surprising Benefits of Injecting Humor Into Parenting  U.S. News & World Report

From dealing with food fights to ignored curfews, you can use mindful levity for positive results.

5 Viral Videos That Sell Products Through Humor  Forbes

When you think about the most memorable viral videos you've seen, I bet they lean more to the commercial side. I'd even go so far as to say that some of your ...

Humor-filled 'warning' mistaken for bomb threat at Kansas Home Depot  FOX 46 Charlotte

A humor-filled "warning" at a Kansas Home Depot led to a 911 call about a potential bomb threat.

Great Barrington: Concert highlights Haydn's humor  Berkshire Eagle

Close Encounters With Music will present "Haydn Seek: Humor in the Works of Papa Haydn" at 6 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 23, at St. James Place, 352 Main St.

Humor: Woman with crush on Ted Bundy has deathly fear of ladybugs - The Aggie  The Aggie

It seems as though everyone these days is buzzing about Bundy. In an effort to stay hip with the kids, The California Aggie secured an interview with Siri Ullman, ...

Rosie O’Donnell Chosen to Read Audiobook of Mueller Report  The New Yorker

Andy Borowitz jokes that Rosie O'Donnell has agree to read the audio book of Robert Mueller's report on President Donald Trump.

Pregnant Jessica Simpson's Toilet Mishap Doesn't Flush Her Sense Of Humor  HuffPost

The "Dukes of Hazzard" star is a potty boss in funny photo.

EDUCATION BEAT: Finding humor in xenophobia  Bristol Herald Courier

If we don't manage to destroy ourselves along the way, the day may well come when we humans find out we are not alone in the universe, that there are.

Humor proved overwhelming for Richmond Ballet's 'Cinderella'  Virginia Gazette

One of the things I most anticipate when it comes to arts coverage is the Richmond Ballet. Only a short drive from here, it's a chance to see first-class dance of all ...

'Russian Doll' shows its hidden layers with great writing, humor  The Torch

Russian Doll” is one of Netflix's newest TV shows and with only eight episodes at around 30 minutes each, the show has already proven itself to be binge-worthy ...

‘Pen15’ Mines Middle-School Hell for Awesomely Awkward Humor  Rolling Stone

At first, Pen15 plays like a sketch comedy idea ill-advisedly stretched out to sitcom length. Co-created (along with Sam Zvibleman) by stars Maya Erskine and ...

ODOT uses humor on highway signs to support safety  Toledo Blade

COLUMBUS — “Camp in Ohio state parks, not the left lane.” “Visiting In-Laws? Slow down, Get there late.” “Don't drive sauced, Leave it to the cranberries.”.

These 4 Zodiac Signs Have The Best Sense Of Humor & They'll Always Make You Laugh  Elite Daily

You wanna know what my favorite cure for all human ailments is? Laughter, of course. Is there anything that a belly full of laughs can't alleviate? Even if ...

This Made Us Smile: Even winter has a sense of humor  WOWT

When it's not making us miserable, the winter weather slips in an occasional moment that can put a smile on your face.

Humor: Congress approves federally-funded “Border Wall Tycoon” video game to appease Trump  The Aggie

With the recent government shutdown still on everyone's minds and Donald Trump recently declaring a national emergency over border security, Congress is ...

Humor: The Tool You Need in Your Grad School Toolbox | GradHacker  Inside Higher Ed

Feel better, make friends, and change your outlook to take on the serious task of success in graduate school.

Interview: Tracy Morgan, coming to Musikfest Cafe, finds new humor after 'Saturday Night Live,' '30 Rock' success  Allentown Morning Call

An interview with Tracy Morgan, star of 'Saturday Night Live' and '30 Rock,' who will play Musikfest Cafe at SteelStacks in Bethlehem on Feb. 23.

John Wayne Bobbitt Still Sends Love Letters to Lorena  The Atlantic

A documentary reconsidering the story that transfixed Americans in the 1990s emphasizes the horror in an event that many remember for its humor.

Maeve in America: Whatsamatter, Girly, No Sense of Humor?

Stand-up comedy is becoming less pale and male, and more relevant.

Super Bowl ads heavy on humor, surprises and ... robots  Charlotte Observer

This year's Super Bowl ads went heavy on the humor _ and surprises.

Wehner honored for his humor and heart | Friends and peers reflect on life lost  Northern Star Online

DeKALB — Friends and peers of Trevor Wehner remember him with a smile on his face and as a driven individual who was never afraid to let his goofball side.

Review: Michael Buble opens tour with charisma, good humor at Tampa's Amalie Arena  Tampa Bay Times

The crooner swiveled through standards, cracked wise on Sarasota and quoted Cardi B. What else could you want from a pre-Valentine's Day concert?

Nick Hart brings humor, issues to Madison mayor's race

Hart, 39, a professional comedian, is making his second bid to win the mayor's office, having spent $100 to win 2 percent of the vote in the 2011 mayoral primary.

Grammys 2019: Alicia Keys Finds the Humor in Hosting  NBC Connecticut

Unlike the Academy Awards, which is set to hold this year's ceremony without a host for only the second time in its history, the Grammy Awards have done ...

Amazon's This Giant Beast That Is the Global Economy Takes Liberal-Bro Humor on a World Tour  TIME

Vice director Adam McKay returns to the intersection of money and politics in a new docuseries that's Global Capitalism 101 for Bros.

Review: 'Big Mouth' brings its signature humor to Valentine's Day  Daily O'Collegian

Valentine's Day is a tricky holiday to make television specials about, yet “Big Mouth” hit the nail on the head yet again with its 45-minute special “My Furry ...

Humor: Professor's classic rant about packing up early works for the first time ever  The Aggie

Students actually take notes until professor excuses them A professor became enraged one day when his students began packing up when there w.

Director Dan Gilroy Talks 'The Power of Humor' in His 'Velvet Buzzsaw'  Hollywood Reporter

Monday night, at the Los Angeles premiere of Netflix's new satirical thriller, Velvet Buzzsaw, director Dan Gilroy and star Jake Gyllenhaal, spoke with The ...

‘Fighting with My Family’ Review: A Wrestling Biopic Filled with Heart, Humor and Bodyslams  SEScoops

Here's our review of 'Fighting with my Family', the movie that tells the dramatized version of the real life story of former WWE women's champion Paige and her ...

The Queen's Six bringing vocal harmonies, British humor to Ogden concert  Standard-Examiner

This is not your father's a cappella singing group. Or, for that matter, even the group formed by your twenty-something cousin in Provo. The Queen's Six, a male ...

Florida woman credits sense of humor for viral 'Florida man' maternity photo  FOX 13 News, Tampa Bay

A Tampa woman's maternity shoot has gone viral, thanks to its “Florida man” aesthetic. But the mommy-to-be is still a little shocked by how much attention the ...

How Terrell Lewis' humor (and Mike Tyson impression) got him through 2018 ACL tear

Alabama linebacker Terrell Lewis (left) asks running back Damien Harris a question at Orange Bowl 2018 Media Day. (Ben Flanagan / ( Ben Flanagan ...

Humor: UC Davis WarnMe system warns us that there is in fact no emergency.  The Aggie

So, I'm pretty sure you guys and gals have all received the nerve-racking, spine-chilling, blood-curdling text from the UC Davis WarnMe system notifying us that ...

Toilet humor...and facts about them - The Fergus Falls Daily Journal  Fergus Falls Daily Journal

You have read 1 of 10 articles. Log In or Subscribe. Column: Home Away From Home: By Jean Lemmon. Earl and Opal, the “Pickles” cartoon characters are at it ...

JUDY ELLIOTT: Lesson learned: Blackface humor is a national bruise

As soon as they were old enough to consider themselves at home in today's culture, our children began rolling their eyes at us, parents who were not “with it.

25 memes that show how Michiganders keep their sense of humor in winter storms

It's cold out there, Michigan. A polar vortex has brought low temperatures, several inches of snow and strong wind gusts to the state, leading to school closings, ...

Comedian Sugar Sammy Takes His Multi-lingual Humor Across the U.S.  Cheddar

Canadian comedian Sugar Sammy has performed over 1,500 shows, in 31 countries, and told jokes in four different languages. He's currently on his U.S. ...

Velvet Buzzsaw Is a Fun, Flawed Mash-Up of Humor and Horror

Good art is to die for. That's the idea behind the engagingly outlandish Velvet Buzzsaw, which begins as a fang-toothed satire of the Los Angeles art scene and ...

Fisher dean predicts humor and more women in Super Bowl ads  Rochester Business Journal

This year's trend in Super Bowl advertisements will be humor and girl power, says the business dean at St. John Fisher College, who has been monitoring such ...

Whether you like mystery or humor, this book has it for you  Renton Reporter

You didn't recognize the number. So you didn't answer the phone. That's how you operate these days: accept calls you know and keep your money in your ...

Heartland sheriff’s offices use humor about the cold on social media  KFVS

(KFVS) - Heartland Sheriff's Offices, Police Departments, Fire Departments, and First Responders use social media to inform the public about what is going on in ...

Family of frozen pants: News 8 viewer finds humor in frigid temps  WQAD Moline

A News 8 viewer was able to find some humor in the negative temperatures that blasted the Quad Cities area in late January.

Satirical Savery: Campus Crisis, Humor to the Rescue – Trinity Tripod  The Trinity Tripod

Hunter Savery '20. Opinion Editor. Trinity College is in a moment of unparalleled crisis. Like the death throws of the Roman Republic, there is chaos and the ...

Love, respect and humor at the VA - The Alexander City Outlook

I'm sitting in the passenger seat in my vehicle at the VA in Tuskegee writing this. I come down here at least once a week for something. It's always something and ...

Friends recall Kaolian’s humor, generosity  CTPost

BRIDGEPORT — Kaye Williams always knew when Morgan Kaolian was overhead. “He used to fly over the Cove regularly,” Williams, the founder of Captain's ...

Poking fun at the press, pope uses humor to spread Gospel

By Father Thomas Dailey, O.S.F.S. • Posted February 7, 2019. Not every word a pope speaks is “ex cathedra.” In fact, it's quite rare to proclaim something “from ...

Fachon Family Honors Son Neil Through “Jester and Pharley Fund” Promoting Literacy — and Humor  GoLocalProv

Wendy Fachon joined GoLocalProv News Editor Kate Nagle on GoLocal LIVE where she spoke to being an ambassador to the “Jester and Pharley Phund,” ...

Learning Leadership Through Humor

Hosts from HGTV's Good Bones tell their story and inspire others.

Humor: Student takes wrong turn in Death Star and ends up in Narnia  The Aggie

She didn't C. (S. Lewis) it coming “Where… Where am I?” Wanda Her asked, looking at the forest surrounding her. An equine figure trot.

'Cripple of Inishmaan' brings dark Irish humor to Port Townsend  Peninsula Daily News

PORT TOWNSEND — These townspeople —newsman Johnnypateenmike, sisters Kate and Eileen, their nephew Billy — do not tiptoe around one another.

Humor: Trump appoints head of West Village to Secretary of Housing and Urban Development  The Aggie

The West Wing goes to West Village This past weekend, President Donald Trump was told by his horoscope that he needed to make some changes, s.

20 Penguins Thoughts: Nearing milestone, appreciation for Phil Kessel's game, humor grows  Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

It was a moment Matt Cullen will never forget, one the 42-year-old center feels was a key moment during the Penguins' 2016 Stanley Cup run. Before Game 6 of ...

REVIEW: 'The Lego Movie 2' brings back heart, humor from first film  Daily Nebraskan

When “The Lego Movie” was released five years ago, nobody expected it to be as successful as it was.

Fluvanna County uses humor, pop culture references to spice up snow closing announcements  The Daily Progress

Fluvanna County families this year have received school closing announcements on social media from The Fonz, Simba of “The Lion King” and Forrest Gump.

Healthy Living: Overcoming Obesity with Honesty, Humor  9&10 News

An estimated 160 million Americans are either obese or overweight. One woman who turned to weight loss surgery is now sharing her experience with brutal ...

Humor: Jeff Bezos looks to virtual assistant, Alexa, to fix his marriage  The Aggie

Can Alexa save this marriage? Every day, more information about Jeff Bezos' infamous affair with Lauren Sanchez hits the news cycle. Howeve.

McFeely: Attempt at gallows humor bites Miles, unfortunately  INFORUM

Nebraska basketball coach, formerly at NDSU, finds that jokes don't fly so well when you're on the hot seat. Written By. Mike McFeely Feb 21st 2019 - 5pm.

Humor: Spider-Man is the most powerful being in existence and there's no argument against this  The Aggie

Sponsored by “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse,” in theaters now. Around 3 a.m. this past Wednesday — or maybe it was Tuesday, I can't remember now — I ...

Pixar's First SparkShorts Film 'Purl' Is a Sweet Story with Salty Humor  Animation Magazine

Pixar Animation Studios has dropped the first film out of its SparkShorts in-house experimental storytelling initiative on YouTube: Kristen Lester's Purl. The CG ...

Sydney man posts humorous listing for waterfront Sydney property after getting bad news from doctor  Daily Mail

Sydney man Pieter Hoekstra advertised his waterfront plot of land on Sydney's northern beaches for auction on the same day he had visited his doctor.

Lois Collins: Social media content can be fake, humorous or a parody. Let's label it.  Deseret News

Years ago, advertisers were forced to label as ads the *content* they created that's designed to look like factual news. Has the time come to require that those who ...

Humor: Passengers carry humongous bottles of lotion through TSA  The Aggie

Our president has created pandemonium In the wake of Donald Trump's historic wall tantrum, the government has been partially shut down, an.

Humor: UC Davis Love Lab unveils Shah's-flavored condoms  The Aggie

Delicious chicken-over-rice flavored contraceptives promote safe sex among students. With STI transmission rates climbing among college students, UC Davis' ...

Center for Civic Engagement plans Political Humor program - 2019 - Political Science - News - OU Magazine  News at OU

The Center for Civic Engagement at Oakland University is planning a program entitled “Political Humor and its Impact on American Life.” The program is ...

GOD SQUAD: God can be humorous, but always purposeful  New Haven Register

Q: First, Rabbi Gellman, let me thank you for the wisdom, tolerance and kindness you share in your column. I look forward to reading it each week and have often ...

How Joking Around With Sibling Shapes Your Sense of Humor  The Epoch Times

Humor is a complex ability that requires cognitive and social skills, much of which we may develop while goofing around with our siblings during childhood.

Brand React To The Polar Vortex With Humor, Helpful Tips  AList

The polar vortex is not a typical snow day in from work and school. The extreme and deadly vortex traveled to the Great Lakes states and its made the weather...

US-North Korean deals often made away from negotiating table  The Associated Press

WASHINGTON (AP) — Beware of humor gone awry. Don't be afraid to show emotion. Watch those offhanded one-liners. At the negotiating table, it can be ...

Tim Kavanagh and Candy Weston Use Potty Humor to Flush Rectal Cancer  Seven Days

In January 2017, Tim Kavanagh readied himself for what he believed would be his final radiation therapy. Since being diagnosed in May 2016 with Stage...

Humor columnist Geoff Kirsch celebrates ten years of laughs  Juneau Empire

Humor columnist and Neighbors contributor Geoff Kirsch is celebrating his 10th year writing columns for the Juneau Empire. Check out some of his past columns ...

Jewish humor will be topic at UNCW

“Working Blue: Obscenity, Pornography, and Jewish Humor” will be the topic of a lecture by guest scholar Jennifer Caplan, 5 p.m. Feb. 5 in the Randall Library ...

Humor: Unitrans switches to really long tandem bikes instead of buses  The Aggie

If Noah had used this bike during the flood, he could have fit three of every animal After relentless harping by CALPIRG, Unitrans switched.

Humorous and Disturbing Self-Portraits Packaged for an Instagram Audience  Hyperallergic

Obscuring his identity with motorized toys and raw meat, David Henry Brown “Nobody” Jr. seeks to liberate himself from the ways capitalism tends to ...

A Presidency Without Humor  The New York Times

Good jokes highlight the ridiculous. Trump's jokes merely ridicule.

How to Train Your Dragon 3 Review #2: A Humorous and Endearing Last Ride  MovieWeb

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World is a cozy conclusion to the adventures of Hiccup and Toothless. Stellar animation and soaring action make up for ...

Dark NOLA Humor - Joie d'Eve - February 2019  My New Orleans

I think it's pretty universal among long-term cohabiting humans that your mate's habits can be either sort of quirky and adorable or absolutely infuriating and ...

Humor: Unitrans J Line skips Alvarado stop to avoid opening top floor of double decker  The Aggie

“This bus is no longer in *service*. Have a good one!” In a monumental decision by first-year bus driver Buster Buseman, the Unitrans J Line skipped the major ...

Why Kia skipped humor, celebs for its Super Bowl ad

Behind Kia's Super Bowl ad set in a small Georgia town.

'Urinetown' brings its punny humor to Washington Terrace  Standard-Examiner

WASHINGTON TERRACE — Think the drought is bad here in Utah?

The CMO's Guide To Using Humor In Marketing  Forbes Now

Infusing humor into marketing and advertising can provide many benefits. But, there is a right way and a wrong way and lines not to cross.

Humor can help your resume stand out — a recruiter explains the right way to use it  CNBC

Using humor on a resume is a risk. Still, a well-chosen one-liner could get you on the right side of a recruiter, according to career coach Martin Darke.

Why humor is what our politics is missing  CNN

A memorial *service* isn't the most likely place to be reminded of why laughing matters so much in life -- and in politics.

'Humorous and informative:' two professors explain Brexit  The Bowdoin Orient

Broken promises and straight-up lies were the subject of discussion on Tuesday evening as two government professors tried to explain Brexit. The process has ...

Theres a car on fire: Alternately humorous and serious, partially paralyzed man brings message about distracted driving to Brownwood students  Brownwood Bulletin

Facing an auditorium filled with Brownwood High School students Wednesday morning, Tyson Dever established some ground rules as he maneuvered his ...

How To Use Humor To Break Through Barriers And Grow Your Business  Forbes

Imagine that you are 15, homeless and pregnant, alone in a big city after having spent your entire life living in a small village. Where would you turn? How would ...

Bay County Dispatch cancels 'all crime' in humorous Facebook post

BAY COUNTY, Mich. -- Crime is cancelled in Bay County! The Bay County Central Dispatch cancelled "all crime" in a humorous Facebook post Saturday "due to ...

PBS' 'Retro Report' to link headlines, history; humor too  Kearney Hub

PASADENA, Calif. (AP) — PBS is launching a weekly series that will link headline-making stories to their historical roots. The magazine-format program, titled ...

home | site map
© 2007