|Marriage & Wedding Information|
How To Keep Love Alive In Your Marriage
In the beginning of a relationship, love seems to have a life of its own. Without much effort, you feel like you are on top of the world. You catch yourself smiling and laughing often, and feeling warm inside whenever you are with your loved one. Everything and everyone suddenly appears better through the rose-colored glasses of love. This euphoric feeling does not last forever, however. After the first year of marriage, the day to day activities of being married, working in a job, raising a family, buying and maintaining a home, etc., all take their toll, and romance takes a back seat.
Love has to be worked on, just like a gardener with his garden. Although he has planted the seeds, and expects the sun and rain to do most of the work, he still has to pull the weeds out of the garden, to fertilize it, and water it if there isn't enough rain. That is the same with a healthy, loving relationship. When love becomes a high priority in a marriage, it is taken care of and nurtured daily. The resulting love rewards you by growing into a more mature, mellow, committed feeling, and when tested, rises up to meet the challenge. How does one keep love alive in a marriage?
You need to designate quality time with your loved one. Don't take it for granted that he/she will always be there when you want them. Remember all those dates you took when you were courting? Now, it's not so easy. There's usually someone else making demands on him/her - whether it's the children with their homework, or the boss expecting you to work late hours, or even an elderly parent that requires assistance. Also, it now might require finding a baby-sitter, or juggling the time with another activity that might take precedence. Whatever happens, make time for each other. Also, make time to hug and/or kiss each other often. You'll be glad you did. The time you spend together will re-energize you and make you feel good for the rest of the day.
If you can't get away, you can still set a date at home, after the children are asleep. The important thing is to have fun together. Here are a few things you can plan to do at home together:
This is not the time to solve life's problems or issues. If there are any lurking issues in the background (and these may be keeping you from enjoying yourself), then sometimes you just might have to talk about it first, get it out in the open in a loving environment, then continue with your plans. Often, positive energy is tied up within us when a problem or issue has not been resolved.
Use these times to tell him/her how special they are to you (how intelligent, how thoughtful, how loving, how caring, etc.).
What is Romance?
Romance is the opportunity to show your loved one how special he/she is to you. It means taking the time for them, and making time, even if you don't have it. It doesn't mean thinking only about yourself, or having only your needs met. It means putting the other person first. Here are some ideas to spice up your romance:
If your spouse doesn't do things for you, then show him/her by gently pointing out what you like. If you like flowers for your birthday, and you haven't gotten flowers, then let them know, particularly when he/she asks you what you would like. Don't think they can read your mind, let them know.
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate
Over time, we learn how to read our spouse. Their behavior, their actions, are important clues that alert us to how they are feeling. Often, we think we know what they are thinking, and we become sloppy, and don't talk about it, or they don't bring it up.
For example, if he had a bad day at the office, and comes home snapping at the children and being tense, the last thing to do is to take it personally. Invite him to relax, as dinner is prepared, then after he's eaten, ask him how his day was. Sooner or later, the truth will come out, and you will learn what happened. You need to be a responsive listener, and not criticize your spouse, for he will surely clam up. The last thing he wants to hear is criticism.
Other signs that can bring on a spouse's anger/tenseness:
Hunger: If your spouse hasn't eaten for awhile, not only their stomach growls, but they growl also. Keep your husband well fed (but not overfed)
Criticism: Try and avoid criticizing your partner. If there is something bothering you, then voice it in a way that you don't point fingers or blame him/her. Try not to keep distance between you. Communicate your feelings, how his/her action affected you, and how you were hurt by that action. Never, ever criticize your spouse in public. An apology is forthcoming, no matter how right you thought you were.
Tiredness: If your husband has been working all day, and you ask him to do a bunch of chores when he gets home, don't expect him to thank you. See if you can spread the chores out, so they include the weekend. Planning ahead helps here.
Take Care of Your Body
Although you may not look like you did when you were dating years ago, you can take measures to look just as good if not better.
Don't substitute anyone or anything else for your loved one. Don't go to a coworker or a friend, and share intimate secrets, because you may be betraying your loved one's trust. Don't watch television or be on the computer all the time, when you could be spending quality time with your loved one. Don't spend all your time with the children, ignoring your spouse, because your husband or wife should be number one on the list.
If people, organizations, or children clamor for your attention, put your spouse first, and then them. When you put your spouse first, you'll notice you won't need to be going to all these other people for emotional support. You'll also notice you'll be having more fun with the person you'll spend the rest of your life with. Don't underestimate the importance of love in a marriage. Cherish and nurture it, and you will have made the best investment in your life.
About The Author
Patty Apostolides is author of Lipsi's Daughter. She has also published poetry and written several articles. Her website showcases her work: http://www.geocities.com/10500bc/index.html
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"Las Vegas theme weddings are the envy of the world. Nowhere else on planet earth can you find such a dazzling array of choices for a theme wedding.
Have a Garden Theme Dream Wedding
You've found the perfect venue: old oaks, a stone wall, a gazebo, acres of fragrant jasmine and honeysuckle, and even a small, clear pond. Now it's time to take the garden wedding of your dreams a little further.
How to Plan a Cheap Wedding
There's no doubt about it, weddings can be expensive. The average cost of a wedding today is $20,000 - $25,000, and weddings are estimated to be a $25.
Tips for Choosing the Right Wedding
The job of choosing the right wedding cake style is the responsibility of both the future bride and groom. The style of cake you'll choose will largely depend on the wedding theme and the size of the wedding.
Get Organized for Wedding Planning!
You've had friends to your home for dinner. Maybe you've hosted a Super Bowl party or two.
After Wedding Tips - Five Tips for a Great Marriage - (That Produces The Good Feelings That Last)
Here are five seeds of a great marriage from grandmother. Tips that produced hundreds of "the good feelings" that last.
Ten Ways to Have an Irish Wedding
Honor your Emerald Isle heritage with traditions that are romantic, clever, and a couple that are downright strange. Uncover here how to fill your wedding with all things Irish save the Blarney Stone.
How to Plan Your Wedding and Honeymoon
1. Weddings typically can cost you anywhere around $15,000 or more.
What should you "walk down the aisle" to? Should you stick with the traditional Wedding March or should you shock your grannie with "Bat out of Hell"?Well maybe Bat out of Hell is totally inappropriate but do you have to stick with tradition? I would say not if you dont want to. There are so many wonderfully romantic and very suitable songs available today.
Should You Send Save the Date Notices To Your Guests?
You've probably heard about Save the Dates since they have become quite popular with brides but you might not know exactly what purpose they serve.People's lives are getting increasingly busier and more tightly scheduled so that's where Save the Date announcements come in handy.
Business Partners & Marital Partners Will The Marriage Survive - Part I
With today's economy, and the layoffs occurring as a result of these economic conditions, more and more people are opting to start their own business. Due to the low start up costs, the prevalence of home-based businesses is on the rise, many of these started by husband and wife teams.
When To Order and Send Your Wedding Invitations
Wedding Invitations should be ordered when you have all the details of your wedding set? place, time of ceremony and reception as well as your guest list. Plan to place your invitation order at least 3-4 months in advance, some companies may require 4-6 months.
The Bachelor Party: A Guide For The Best Man
If you forget the ring, there is still a chance that you might be forgiven. If you throw a poor bachelor party, you might as well throw away your friendship.
Marriage Advice: Ten Ways to Add Romance to Your Marriage
Every marriage needs a healthy dose of on-going romance to add spice, delight, and fun to the relationship. It's not enough to just start out with a sizzling romance.
Theres More to Wedding Invitations Than You Might Think
Everybody talks about wedding invitations, but what about all the other terms and items that are associated with them. Below are explanations of some of the more common terms and items that you'll probably encounter while shopping for your invitations.
The Night They Invented Champagne
In the dim past of the last century, good time girls like Marilyn Monroe always celebrated their moments of victory with a glass of bubbly.'I'm marrying a millionaire,' she'd thrill.
The Pros & Cons of Beach Weddings
Beach weddings are popular but they do present "special issues".Failing to consider these ahead of time could leave you unpleasantly surprised on your wedding day!There is certainly nothing that should dissuade you from your vision of a beautiful seaside ceremony.
Emotional Infidelity: A KEY Tactic to Save the Marriage
Hearing that your cheating spouse is "in love" with someone else is devastating. I hear often, "I can handle her having sex with someone else.
Outdoor Wedding Ceremonies - Keeping Your Guest Comfortable
According to a survey conducted in 2003 by Bride's magazine, 15% of all couples choose an outdoor wedding, and that trend is growing. But with a all of the beauty and simplicity that an outdoor wedding brings, it also brings added anxiety from the force known as Mother Nature.
History of the Wedding Favor Box
The wedding favor box carries on the timeless tradition established by the early European upper classes, who provided elaborate gifts to party guests. Initially, the gifts were small fancy boxes known as a bonboniere.
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