Marriage & Wedding Information


Beyond Her Grasp


I am a woman, 42, who three years ago married a wonderful man who will be 48 on his next birthday. I love him very, very much. The only problem is our sex life is horrible. Pretty much nonexistent. I can safely say we have had sex maybe 20 times in our six year relationship.

When I've tried numerous times to talk to him, he gets defensive and says, "There's nothing wrong with me." He also says, if I want to have sex, I should just say so. But when I make advances, he pushes me away thinking I am playing with him. Then he leaves the room. Of course I get frustrated, out of the mood, and give up.

I love my husband so much I don't make a big deal of it, although I know this is not normal or healthy. I can't get him to go to counseling or discuss this. I am at my sexual peak, and I am tired of dreaming of sex with other men. I want our relationship to work, but I just don't know how much longer I can go on like this.

Claire

Claire, you can work on planting a garden, you can work on your weight loss, you can work on your reading speed. But you cannot work on someone else's problem, unless they are willing, and failure is guaranteed when they tell you they do not have a problem.

Thoreau said, "It takes two to speak the truth--one to speak and another to hear." Your husband will not hear or discuss reality, the reality of the situation as you see it. You married him knowing he had this problem. Marriage does not cure a problem, it makes you a party to it for awhile.

Is this the hard lesson you had to learn? That you cannot marry a man with a serious problem and expect to fix it.

Calling Her Bluff

I've been with my boyfriend for four years, and he is going through the longest divorce known to man. His soon-to-be ex knows of me and told him she is insanely jealous. She makes my life complete hell by e-mailing him sexual innuendoes, asking him for expensive gifts, and calling him an average of 12 times a day.

I told him to cut the cord. If he wants to be with me, he has to protect me, be true to me, and make me feel secure in this relationship. We even tried counseling a few years back, and then he cheated on me with her. Many times I told him to get on with this divorce or I would be gone, but it doesn't seem to scare him anymore.

How do I get my point across to this man, and do I have any grounds to tell this woman to leave him alone and just tend to her children?

Paige

Paige, the one thing which may set you free is to look on this situation from a different point of view. He didn't cheat on you with her. She's his wife. He's cheating on her with you. You describe her as his soon-to-be ex, but "soon-to-be ex" is a term more likely to describe your future, not hers.

You threaten and threaten to leave, and you never do. Bluffing in poker may be good strategy, but bluffing in life is weak. Once your bluff is called, you've lost all power and all credibility. And counseling? Think about how funny that is. You went for relationship counseling with a man in a marriage to another woman.

Why do you keep plodding forward? Because you want to be married. There is nothing wrong with that. But you cannot marry someone who is already married. There is a simple solution. Don't give up wanting to be married, just give up married men.

Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 22, 2004

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.


MORE RESOURCES:
With more than 1000 marriages each year, weddings are big business in Williamson County  Spring Hill Home Page

Before opening, the owners of Graystone Quarry had to remove 900 tons of trash from the site. / Photo Matt Blois. By MATT BLOIS. Rick and Nancy McEachern ...


Forced conversion, wedding: Pakistani Hindu minor girls approach court; man suspected to assist in wedding held  gulfnews.com

Lahore: Seven people have been arrested in Pakistan for allegedly assisting in solemnising the wedding of two Hindu minor girls, who were reportedly abducted ...


Money woes force more couples to put marriage on the back burner  CNBC

Like many couples, Megan McDonald and her boyfriend, Nick Palmiotto, have put their marriage plans on hold because of other financial obligations.


Christina El Moussa pregnant with baby No. 3 after wedding to Ant Anstead  Fox News

Christina El Moussa's family is getting a little bigger.


Knot in Prison: Saudi authorities organize wedding for inmate in jail  StepFeed

Not the first time a wedding is held in prison in Saudi Arabia.


This Week’s Wedding Announcements  The New York Times

All of the weddings right here on one handy page for you.


Inside Princess Eugenie's New Married Life With Jack Brooksbank  E! Online

The princess, celebrating her first birthday as a married woman, and husband Jack Brooksbank have been enjoying a quiet honeymoon period and only just ...


Did You Have a Wedding Crasher?  The New York Times

Did you have a random “plus one,” an estranged family member or a complete stranger show up at your wedding reception? We would love to know how you ...


'Counting On': Fans Thinking Joy-Anna Forsyth is Pregnant with Baby Number 2  The Cheat Sheet

Joy-Anna and Austin Forsyth have enjoyed a whirlwind romance. Not only did the pair court for just three short months before becoming engaged in 2017, but.


It's been a rocky road for longest-linked 'Married at First Sight' couple  New York Post

Reality-show romances rarely have the trappings of real love. But Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner are celebrating five years of marriage after meeting as strangers ...


Jessie J and Channing Tatum already planning WEDDING after his split from Jenna  Irish Mirror

Jessie J and Channing Tatum are reportedly planning to tie the knot after just months of dating.


Kwesta and wife fortify marriage vows with white wedding [photos]  The South African

Senzo Vilakazi, known affectionately by his fans and South Africa's entertainment community as Kwesta, stole hearts when images of his white wedding surfaced ...


The wedding was a lark but the marriage has been a gift  The Boston Globe

My husband's favorite gift from me, the one he still speaks of with awe, was an hour in an isolation tank in lower Manhattan. Afterward, he marveled at the jangly ...


Is Ed Sheeran Married? Singer Reportedly Weds Cherry Seaborn in Secret Winter Wedding  PEOPLE.com

The pop star and his longtime girlfriend Cherry Seaborn were married in December, The Sun's Dan Wootton reports.


Demi Moore Attends Ex-Husband Bruce Willis' 10-Year Wedding Anniversary Party  Entertainment Tonight

The former couple called it quits in 2000 after 13 years of marriage.


Miley Cyrus Reacts to Nick Jonas & Priaynka Chopra Marriage, Wedding  STYLECASTER

Miley Cyrus reacts to ex Nick Jonas's marriage and wedding to Priyanka Chopra. She recently posted a comment on Instagram that has fans believing the singer ...


She Was Given a Deadline, but Married on Her Own Terms  The New York Times

Melissa Marti knew she was going to marry Seth Visser. She just didn't want one of her employers, a Roman Catholic school in Minnesota, to tell her when.


Wedding Crashers Just Want to Have Some Fun  The New York Times

Ah, the reception. Free food. Free drinks. What's not to love? Wait, says the couple: Who's that stranger eating our food and drinking our alcohol?


Star-studded wedding fare  The Hans India

Seasoned star Venkatesh performed the marriage of his daughter Aashrita in a grand manner in Jaipur two days ago. The destination wedding turned out to be ...


Brittany Aldean Remembers NBA Past in Throwback Photo  Taste of Country

The entire nation is currently swept up in everything March Madness/NCAA basketball, which may just have inspired Jason Aldean's wife, Brittany, to reflect ...


Eventually They Fell in Love (Their Cats, Not So Much)  The New York Times

Elizabeth Storm Garner and John Jung Wang were married March 23 at the winter home of the bride's family in Borrego Springs, Calif. Susan Hwang, a friend of ...


A salad scandal and secret wedding: In Nashville, Miranda Lambert is what the city is whispering about  The Washington Post

If there's ever a time to be in Nashville, it's probably when one of country music's biggest superstars makes TMZ headlines for allegedly dumping a salad on a ...


Jade Goody's mum Jackiey weeps as she speaks of tragic star's marriage to Jack Tweed  Heart

Mother-of-two Jade died when she was just 27 years old following a devastating battle with cervical cancer.


Bangladesh pacer Mustafizur Rahman gets married to Samia Parvin  India Today

Bangladesh pacer Mustafizur Rahman after returning from New Zealand, got married to Samia Parvin in an intimate wedding ceremony on Friday evening at ...


Is Drew Barrymore Married?  The Cheat Sheet

Drew Barrymore has been married more than once, but she is married right now? Here's what we know.


Married at First Sight viewers aren't convinced by the first match  DigitalSpy.com

The latest series of Channel 4's Married at First Sight premiered tonight (March 20), with two new couples walking down the aisle having first met on their ...


Actress Omotola Jalade and husband celebrate 23rd wedding anniversary (photos)  Legit.ng

Legit.ng News ☆ Nigerian actress Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde has celebrated her 23rd wedding anniversary with her husband. The actress took to social media to ...


Prince Charles 'told Harry to soldier on' in face of critics during tough first few months of marriage  The Telegraph

The Prince of Wales was a great support to Prince Harry and wife Meghan Markle during their tough first few months of marriage together, according to a ...


'Married at First Fight' highlights the heartwarming twists and turns of marriage  Beat Magazine

Married At First Fight is written by Perth-born comedy king, Matt Byrne. A hilarious take on the car crash 'reality' TV show that's hard to take your eyes off, the ...


25 Captions For Attending A Wedding That'll Have Even The Cake In Tiers  Elite Daily

Spring has sprung, which means wedding season is officially here. Perhaps you're the maid of honor for your bestie who's marrying her soulmate, or you're ...


Bohemian Rhapsody: Mary Austin reveals HOW Freddie proposed and wedding dress HEARTBREAK  Express

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY didn't show the real way Freddie Mercury proposed to Mary Austin, not her wedding dress heartbreak. Freddie's 'wife' tells the true ...


Newlyweds Kapil Sharma And Ginni Chatrath Celebrate First Holi After Their Marriage, Pictures Inside  BollywoodShaadis.com

Kapil Sharma, India’s biggest comedian, tied the knot with his long-time girlfriend, Ginni Chatrath on December 12, 2018. The two had a proper Sikh ...


David and Victoria Beckham's marriage secrets as they approach 20th wedding anniversary  HELLO!

David and Victoria Beckham's marriage: discover the couple's relationship secrets ahead of their 20th wedding anniversary in July.


Are Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner Married?  The Cheat Sheet

With the Jonas Brothers set to regroup for a new album and Sophie Turner premiering in Dark Pheonix this June, the two have been receiving a lot of media ...


Wedding Album | Lovebirds' second chance at marriage  SowetanLIVE Sunday World

As we celebrate the month of love, this recently married couple remind us that it is never too late to find love. Mmathipe Khoele, 67 and George "Ponti" Khoele, ...


Natalia Cooper celebrates her three-year wedding anniversary  Daily Mail

The Today show's weather presenter Natalia Cooper, 35, celebrated her three-year wedding anniversary with Carl Fox, and their first night out as new parents.


Five years ago, Andrea Bocelli got married in a dream ceremony in Tuscany  Classic FM

On 21 March 2014, the legendary Italian tenor Andrea Bocelli married his long-term partner and manager, Veronica Berti, in an enviably stylish ceremony in ...


'Young and the Restless' Spoilers: Kyle & Summer Marry – Wedding Photo  Soap Dirt

Young and the Restless spoilers say Kyle Abbott (Michael Mealor) and Summer Newman (Hunter King) marry after he proposes. When Kyle learns Summer can ...


Alex Rodriguez Pens Sweet Note for 'Beautiful' Fiancee Jennifer Lopez  Entertainment Tonight

The 43-year-old former pro athlete isn't shy about his love for Lopez!


Unseen Video Of Anushka Sharma From Her Vidaai Ceremony Will Make You Want To Get Married Right Away  BollywoodShaadis.com

An unseen video from Virat Kohli and Anushka Sharma's wedding has surfaced online, wherein the doting wifey is seen throwing rice back at her family during ...


Comic Relief 2019: Dress worn by Lily James for Four Weddings and a Funeral skit goes on sale  The Independent

The wedding dress worn by actor Lily James for the Four Weddings and a Funeral skit for Comic Relief 2019 is now on sale.


A Timeline of Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez's Relationship  ELLE.com

After two years of dating, Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez are engaged! The couple announced the news via Instagram earlier this month, with J.Lo posting a ...


Rumors About Priyanka Chopra, Nick Jonas  Gossip Cop

Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas' marriage is frequently the subject of phony tabloid stories. Here are five wrong rumors about the newlyweds.


Bride-to-be who went missing on hen night buried in wedding dress  Metro.co.uk

A bride-to-be who died on a night out with friends last week has been laid to rest in her wedding dress. Ruth Maguire, 30, was due to marry her partner...


Akash Ambani and Shloka Mehta's wedding had these lavish dishes. See pics and videos  India Today

Akash Ambani and Shloka Mehta tied the knot at the Jio World Centre in Mumbai on March 9, 2019. Their wedding saw the most lavish preparations ever and ...


Married At First Sight Australia star Nic Jovanovic reveals cancer returned while filming the show  Newshub

Married At First Sight Australia groom Nic Jovanovic was shocked and distraught to discover his cancer had returned while filming the reality show. MAFS AU: ...


Bride-to-be who died on hen night laid to rest in wedding dress  Independent.ie

A bride-to-be who died on a night out with friends last week, has been laid to rest.


Little Boy Realizes 'Two Princesses' Can Get Married And It's So Moving  HuffPost

"It made our day a bit more magical," bride Emma Webster-Mockett told HuffPost.


Ed Sheeran marries girlfriend in 'tiny wedding': Report - The Jakarta Post  Jakarta Post

British singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran has married his girlfriend Cherry Seaborn in a tiny winter wedding, The Sun newspaper reported on Thursday.


Neetu Kapoor-Soni Razdan Post Lovely Notes For Ranbir Kapoor And Alia Bhatt For Their Filmfare Win  BollywoodShaadis.com

Alia Bhatt and Ranbir Kapoor, both had received Best Actor Awards at Filmfare 2019. And for the same, super-proud moms of the two stars, Neetu Kapoor and ...


Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin 'postpone their wedding for a FOURTH TIME'  Daily Mail

The singer, 25, and model, 22, who legally married in a New York courthouse in September, are said to have put their plans on 'indefinite hold to focus on ...


"I didn't see it as cheating." Jess and Dan defend their affair on Married at First Sight.  Mamamia

Are Jess and Dan from Married at First Sight still together? After coming clean about their affair, Jess and Dan have confirmed they are in a relationship.


United Methodist Church Keeps Ban On Same-Sex Weddings, LGBTQ Clergy  WBUR

The United Methodist Church votes to maintain a ban on gay clergy and gay marriage. Is a schism inevitable? We put that to a roundtable of Methodist voices.


The Bachelor’s Alex Marks and Alicia Oates reveal plans for a bumper wedding weekend after she called him a ‘  The Sun

THE Bachelor's Alex Marks and Alicia Oates have opened up about their experience on the Channel 5 show and revealed all about their plans for a bumper ...


Fearne Cotton admits husband Jesse Wood drives her 'mental' after marriage 'rough patch'  Irish Mirror

The BBC Radio 2 host also revealed she can't stand sleeping anywhere near the father of her two children.


RHONY’s Jill Zarin and Boyfriend Gary Brody Tease Potential Marriage Plans  Us Weekly

Jill Zarin and her boyfriend, Gary Brody, opened up to Us Weekly about potential wedding plans — interview.


Royal DIVORCE: Why Lady Davina Windsor's marriage broke down - REVEALED  Express

LADY DAVINA WINDSOR and her husband of 14 years Gary Lewis have gone their separate ways. So what really happened in the royal split?


Jude Law ‘to marry girlfriend Phillipa Coan in star-studded French wedding'  Metro.co.uk

Jude Law is reportedly set to marry his girlfriend Phillipa Coan in a romantic French ceremony, with his eldest son Rafferty as best man. It looks like the Alfie ...


Does your big day have to mean big costs?  Belfast Newsletter

The average cost of a wedding in the UK currently stands at an eye-watering £30355....but not all couples are saying 'I do' to expensive nupitals as Helen ...


The Marriages of Queen Victoria's Grandchildren  BBC History Magazine

With more than 30 grandchildren growing up in palaces across the continent, Queen Victoria long understood the importance of dynastic marital alliances to ...


Bruce Willis Renews Vows With Wife on 10-Year Anniversary  The Blast

Bruce Willis renewed his vows with his wife and his family were there to celebrate, including his ex-wife Demi Moore.


Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley: Inside their bizarre marriage  NEWS.com.au

In 1994, one year after the first of many child sexual abuse allegations were raised against him, Michael Jackson did something that stunned the world.


Shraddha Kapoor And Rumoured Boyfriend, Rohan Shrestha Are Getting Married In 2020, Details Inside  BollywoodShaadis.com

It seems that Bollywood has decided to give us all a tough run when it comes to celebrity weddings. Reportedly, the year 2019 will be marked with many such ...


Thaksin's daughter gets married in Hong Kong with royalty in attendance  AsiaOne

The wedding of former Thai prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra's youngest daughter in Hong Kong has drawn much attention two days before a general election ...


Royal Family: Why Princess Margaret divorced Lord Snowden  NEWS.com.au

When Princess Margaret married photographer Antony Armstrong-Jones in May 1960, it was one of the most scandalous royal weddings in history — mostly ...


Bangladesh pacer Mustafizur marries cousin in private function  bdnews24.com

The wedding was completed with Tk 500,001 'Denmohar' or dower at the bride's home in Hadipur village in Debhata Upazila on Friday afternoon, his brother ...


Inside Kensi & Deeks' Wedding: 'NCIS: Los Angeles' Cast Teases Huge Surprises, Action and More  TVInsider

In the NCIS universe, it's nearly impossible to get hitched without a few hitches. A prime example: the long-awaited wedding of Los Angeles special agents Kensi ...


Cory Booker Teased The Possibility Of A White House Wedding With Rosario Dawson  BuzzFeed News

She's just an incredible human being,” Booker told Ellen DeGeneres.


Nine Chinese couples get married at Dubai's Love Lakes  Khaleej Times

It was the first time that the islands near Al Qudra have been used for an exclusive, private event.


Gwen Stefani's wedding plans with Blake Shelton are ON HOLD  Daily Mail

There have been rumors about Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton's engagement for several months now, with a new report claiming their nuptials are on hold for ...


‘RHONY’ Alum Jill Zarin Gushes Over Potential Wedding Plans With BF Gary Brody  Life&Style Weekly

'Real Housewives of New York' alum Jill Zarin gave details about a potential wedding with her new boyfriend, Gary Brody! Get details about the nuptials.


Danielle Lloyd beams as loved ones throw surprise hen party ahead of wedding  Metro.co.uk

Danielle Lloyd had the shock of her life as her friends threw her a surprise hen do ahead of her wedding to Michael O'Neill.


Palace release loved-up picture of royal couple on special day  HELLO!

One royal palace has released a never-before-seen picture of one loved-up royal couple for a special reason - see it here.


Kpop idols who got married  allkpop

Just recently last year former member of pop girl group Dalshabet, Gaeun got wed last year June to her non-celebrity boyfriend, Her boyfriend who was…


Ask Amy: Anniversary party leads to family wounds  The Washington Post

Dear Amy: My husband and I recently celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary. We decided to have a vow renewal. We decided to have our three children ...


What you need to know about getting married in community of property in South Africa  BusinessTech

With statistics showing high rates of divorce in South Africa, there are a few questions you should ask yourself before popping the question.


‘My dad drove me and my rapist 2,000 miles – then made me marry him after he got me pregnant at 14’  The Sun

In a chilling first hand account, Heather, reveals how she was raped at 14, married by 15 and suffered a miscarriage just months later. Now she keeps a gun by ...


Priyanka Chopra admits to Facetime sex during 'long stints apart' with husband Nick Jonas  In.com

Months after their gorgeous wedding, Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas' marriage is still talked about. The credit goes to both the stars who keep spilling secrets ...


Did Prince Charles Propose To Anyone Else Before Diana?  The Cheat Sheet

Find out if and how many women Prince Charles proposed to before Princess Diana.


Bollywood’s favourite couples share their best marriage advice  VOGUE India

Best Marriage Advice - Best marriage tips by Bollywood's couples like Sonam Kapoor Ahuja-Anand Ahuja, Deepika Padukone-Ranveer Singh, & Priyanka ...


See All the Sweet Pics From Duff Goldman's "Amazing" Food-Filled Honeymoon  Bravo

From diner coffee to chocolate malts, the cake maestro Duff Goldman and his bride, Johnna Colbry, are taking in all-American classics. By Jenny Berg.


4 Things You Should Do in the First Year of Marriage  Brides

Take a deep breath. The wedding is behind you, and you're embarking on the first weeks and months of married life. The first year of marriage can feel a bit ...


Shutdown reveals D.C. marriage, wedding 'emergency'  Washington Times

The federal government shutdown seems to have thrown a wrench into the gears of love, marriage and weddings. It's a false breakdown, though.


Valentine's Day ceremony: 'He can't forget our anniversary,' bride jokes  The Daily News Journal

Love is in the air on Valentine's Day, and for marriage officiant Mollie Slaybaugh with Marry Me of Tennessee in Murfreesboro, it's a busy one.


Miley Cyrus Confirms Wedding to Liam Hemsworth with Touching Photos — See Her Stunning Dress  PEOPLE.com

"10 Years Later," Cyrus captioned a series of intimate wedding photos.


Have Millennials Lost Faith in Marriage? This Wedding Planning Startup Suggests No  Observer

Shan-Lyn Ma, co-founder and CEO of Zola, an online one-stop shop for wedding planning, doesn't buy the idea that Millennials are rejecting the idea of ...


Rain On Your Wedding Day: County Changes Marriage Ceremonies During Storm  NBC 7 San Diego

For those looking to get hitched at the San Diego County administration building, this Valentine's Day, rain and mud made administrators change up the usual ...


Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin's Wedding: Everything You Need to Know  HarpersBAZAAR.com

Here's everything you need to know about Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin's rumored wedding, from the engagement to the bridal party.


Jennifer Lawrence's marriage quotes give clues about Cooke Maroney wedding  Page Six

Throughout the years, Jennifer Lawrence has been candid about her views on weddings and marriage. Here are a few quotes that tease what her big day to ...


Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra Are Married!  PEOPLE.com

Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra were married after confirming their engagement in July.


Whirlwind Wedding! Justin Bieber Secretly Marries Hailey Baldwin Two Months After Proposal: Sources  PEOPLE.com

In a whirlwind wedding, the popstar and the model have wed just two months after getting back together.


A Guide to Everything That Happened at Miley Cyrus's Secret Wedding to Liam Hemsworth  ELLE.com

Over the past couple days, Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth have gotten married (on December 23), confirmed it happened, and—along with their family and ...


Miley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth wedding: How the couple's secret marriage was exposed  Fox News

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth's December wedding was supposed to be a top-secret event, but one guest's innocent slip up made sure it became one of the ...


Plan Your Wedding Around a Full Moon for a Stronger Marriage  Brides

Full moons are often associated with spooky nights, eerie happenings or mysterious and ghostly occurrences. After all, legend has it that full moons are ...


Denny's Valentine's Day Wedding Deal Is Just $99, If You Want To Get Married In One  Bustle

There are a lot of different ways you may have imagined your big day. You may have imaged a stately country home, a swanky city rooftop, or even a full royal ...


What do you get the daughter of India’s richest man for her wedding? A private Beyoncé concert.  The Washington Post

Isha Ambani is about to marry Anand Piramal in a $100 million celebration that locals have dubbed “the big, fat Indian wedding."


Meghan Trainor's wedding makes up her 'Marry Me' music video  Today Show

The singer is sharing the love with her fans this Valentine's Day.


Christina El Moussa Is Married! Inside Her Secret ‘Winter Wonderland’ Wedding to Ant Anstead  PEOPLE.com

The Flip or Flop star married Wheelers Dealers host Ant Anstead in a secret "winter wonderland" ceremony in Newport Beach, California on Saturday.


Priyanka Chopra, Nick Jonas get married with Hindu wedding in India, reports say  USA TODAY

The “Quantico” actress, 36, wed Jonas, 26, in a lavish Indian ceremony at the Taj Umaid Bhawan Palace in Jodhpur, India, the culmination of three days of ...


The Best & Worst Wedding Dates for 2019 - Which Days to Get Married  TownandCountrymag.com

With the new year fast approaching, now's the time for soon-to-be newlyweds to consult the calendar. We've rounded up the best and the worst dates for your ...


home | site map
© 2007