|Marriage & Wedding Information|
Building Up Your Marriage with Healthy Communication
Would you like to have a stronger, healthier, more enjoyable marriage? I am sure that you would. And yet we live in a culture where about half of all marriages will shatter and end in a divorce, leaving behind the wreckage of broken adults and broken children.
If we are to build healthy marriages, we much do so "on purpose." We cannot just hope that it will happen by accident. "Hope," say the generals, "is not a good strategy." Planning, work, and the investment of time, are much better strategies for any important endeavor of life. The first characteristic of a healthy marriage for us to consider is the way that we talk to our spouse, and the way that we talk about our spouse..
Healthy marriages are characterized by supportive, encouraging, and honest communication. We want to build each other up in our marriages, never tear our spouse down (especially under the guise of being "honest"). Two thousand years ago St. Paul wrote this verse that is worthy of every refrigerator door in America,
"Don't let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to what they need, so that you can benefit those who listen." (Paul's letter to the Ephesians, Chapter 4).
There are three important parts to Paul's verse. First, that if we don't have something good to say, don't say anything at all. I think my mother told me that as well. Second, that we should consider our listener's needs. My wife has a different set of needs than does my daughter, or my sons. We should consider how best to encourage and support that particular person. Finally, the purpose of our talking in the first place should be to benefit the listener.
When I first began to seriously apply Paul's principle, and I began to really look at what I was saying, and why I was saying it, my vocabulary and my time talking were cut by about one-third. I had become sarcastic, but funny. But my funny sarcasm was always at the expense of another. When I determined to build others up and benefit them with my speech, I talked a lot less. But I became a much better person, both inside and out.
Check your motives. If you just want to make yourself look good, you will tend to be sarcastic, and you will tend to "tease" other people by degrading them in front of others. The consequences of this will be that your friends will see your "teasing" as shameful, and your spouse and your children will grow distant from you. It may cost you your marriage.
If , on the other hand, your motives are to build up and encourage your spouse and children, then speak words of support, love, and praise to them. Your friends will view you as a loving person, and your spouse and children will always want to be near you. They will love to hear you talk, as your words will be "like honey" to them.
So choose well how you will use your words. You have the power to build up, or to tear down, just by the choices that you make.
Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.
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How To Choose The Right Wedding Bouquet Style
Basically, there are three wedding bouquet styles. The cascade, round or posy, and hand-tied.
Wedding Web Site Design - How to Design a Wedding Site That Others Will Rave About
If you are in the process of design a wedding web site, you want to put some serious thought into the design of your site before actually building it. The reason you need a plan is so that you know where you are going and how to get there, the plan is a roadmap of sort for the success of your wedding web site.
Wedding Reception Made for You
No matter how well you plan all the aspects of the wedding, one deciding factor on how well it goes is based upon the wedding reception-site. All kidding aside, having it "rain on your special day" is certainly not the ideal wedding reception environment for most people.
3 Easy Steps to Buying the Right Engagement Ring
You've made the plunge, you've decided to get married. Congratulations!Don't think about it now, but there are many things you need to think about before the big wedding day comes, and one of them is how are you going to find the right engagement ring?Before the stress settles in, here are 3 easy steps to finding and buying the right engagement ring.
How You Answer This Question Can Change Your Marriage
Imagine the following scenario. Your spouse has given you an important letter to mail and is counting on you to mail it on your way to work.
Create A Beautifull Wedding Album With A Simple And Fun Way
Hi If you are getting married or have a Bar Bat Mitzvah or special event then you should read this article. Many times people who have an important event hire a photographer, videographer wedding consultants, and or coordinators, florists, lino service, ect.
Engagement Party Ideas To Wow The Crowd!
He's proposed, and most likely you're flashing your new engagement ring. Now it's time to plan the celebration, but where do you start?Your engagement party is the perfect setting for the families and friends of the bride and groom to meet each other if they haven't already done so.
Conquer the Five Most Common Fears About Your Wedding Ceremony
It's safe to say that of all the important events in your lifetime, your wedding day is certain to be right up there with those that are the most meaningful. And throughout the entire wedding day - the preparations, the ceremony, the reception, and the wedding night - the moment when you recite your wedding vows to each other is the most meaningful.
Wedding Shower Invitations: An Overview
The purpose of a wedding shower is to celebrate the bride and provide her a moment to share with family and friends before the big day. Traditionally, the bridal shower is hosted by the maid-of-honor or the bridesmaids.
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