|Marriage & Wedding Information|
Marriage Advice: Ten Danger Signals to Watch for in Your Marriage
Healthy marriages require time, attention, energy, and vigilance. It's not realistic to think that you can have a super marriage without effort on your part.
It pays to be observant, to ask questions when you don't understand something, and to notice changes in behavior, tone of voice, and attitude. Communication experts have found that only seven percent of our communication is verbal, while the other ninety-three percent depends on body language and tone of voice. Thus, it only makes good sense to pay attention to much more than just the actual words a spouse says.
There are ten danger signals that can help you to head off trouble in your marriage before problems become more serious. Pay attention when:
1. Your spouse acts upset but says "Nothing's wrong" when you ask, yet you're sure there's more to it. Trust your intuition about this. Females in particular are prone to say "Nothing" when asked "What's wrong?" This often indicates that there is something they need to say, but they don't feel comfortable saying it. Work on creating a safe environment for the sharing of mutual concerns.
2. You ask your spouse about something and get a listless, barely audible "Okay, that's fine," but the tone doesn't sound sincere. This response is similar to number one. What's usually obvious from the tone of voice and other non-verbal communication is that most assuredly something is wrong. Everything is not fine. And if that "something" doesn't come out into the open where it can be resolved, it will pop up later and cause difficulties.
3. Your spouse is unusually anxious or agitated when you walk in unexpectedly while he or she is on the computer. It may just be a coincidence, but it could also be that your partner is involved in doing something that he or she doesn't want you to see. To know if it's nothing or if something is brewing will take observation over a period of time. Becoming involved with someone online isn't harmless, as some spouses will claim. It robs a marriage of commitment and focused energy, plus it can lead to an affair in real time.
4. You observe that your spouse is being secretive about cell phone calls or text messages. Sometimes spouses will find a partner hiding in the closet or locked in the bathroom talking on the cell phone. This is certainly something to pay attention to, but don't jump to conclusions. Just observe for awhile. Sometime there's a rational explanation such as a spouse who is making secret calls to set up a surprise birthday party for the partner. But if that's not the case, the secret calls could be a signal that your marriage is in danger.
5. Your spouse has a significant change in moods, enjoyment of life, socialization patterns, or grooming/appearance. A spouse can become depressed and sometimes the partner doesn't put the clues together to realize what's happening. The spouse who is feeling depressed may experience changes in sleep patterns, eating, appearance, and hygiene. There may also be uncharacteristic isolation from friends and family, as well as crying spells or loss of interest in things that used to bring pleasure. If this happens, it's time to consult with your spouse's physician.
6. You realize that your spouse is developing a pattern of trying to avoid going to bed at the same time you do and sleeping in the same bed with you. Numerous wives have shared in counseling that they deliberately stay up later than their husbands to avoid sex. Or they say that a child won't go to sleep unless they lie down with them. Often, then, the parent ends up going to sleep in the child's room, giving the excuse that they didn't want to wake the partner or that they fell asleep without meaning to. The warning sign comes when this turns into a nightly pattern, not an occasional occurrence.
7. You realize that you don't know who your spouse really is any more. This is certainly a wake-up call that it's time to make your marriage a top priority. You'll want to spend extra time together talking and sharing from the heart. One common lament marriage counselors hear is, "He (or she) doesn't really know me. I'm just a paycheck to her (or just someone who keeps the house clean and takes care of the kids). Take the time to find out what your spouse is really thinking and feeling.
8. Your relationship feels stale and dull. If this stage continues, both you and your spouse could be more susceptible to the lure of an affair. Deliberately schedule plans to do new things and go new places, and of course, look at how you could spice up your sex life with your partner. Do you need to trade off babysitting time with a friend so you can leave the kids and take a weekend trip with your spouse? Or let the friend keep the kids while you and your partner stay home alone?
9. You find yourself co-existing in the same house with your spouse but never really connecting. When this happens, it's time to schedule a time each day to sit, talk, share feelings, hold hands, hug, and reconnect. You can't afford to lose your feeling of closeness and bonding with your partner. Cut back on extra activities and immediately make your marriage your priority. Without emotional intimacy, your marriage will lose its momentum and passion.
10. You realize your sense of fun and joy has been replaced by resignation and complacency. It's time to shake things up. Have you gotten in a rut? Turn things upside down and put some variety in your marriage. Maybe it's time for those dance lessons your wife has been begging you to take with her. Or maybe it's time to go on that camping trip your husband has been talking about for months. Whatever you do, don't just sit there-plan something fun!
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of the book Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com, where you can also sign up for the free weekly Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get ideas and support for improving your marriage.
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Emma Gold didn't know what to do — plan her dream destination wedding in South America and risk losing guests, or keep it local and swallow her resentment?
Japanese man spends over £13k on wedding to marry virtual teen idol Hatsune Miku VG247
16 yer-old Volcaloid idol Hatsune Miku has found herself married for the 3700th time.
A Walmart wedding: Why couple got married in the garden section USA TODAY
When the Pennsylvania couple realized their co-workers would not be able to attend their wedding, they got married where they fell in love.
The Bridezilla Syndrome: Do You Have It? Ten Ways to Avoid All the BS!
In a fast-paced world of wedding planning, stress levels are high; immune systems are low; and over the course of the past 20 years, brides have transmitted, what has become a bridal epidemic of our time.The number of victims has steadily increased; and to date, there is no cure.
Choosing The Right Music For Your Wedding
OverviewI suppose a typical Christian wedding in the UK can be divided into 4 main sections and these are:The ceremonyPre-meal drinksWedding breakfastEvening receptionI suppose about half of the weddings I come across have the ceremony in a church so this means that if they do require me to provide live music; it will be during the drinks before the meal and the wedding breakfast. Everyone's requirements are different so don't be afraid to discuss any special requirements with whoever your hiring.
Mens Moissanite Wedding Rings, or Is Moissanite a Mans Best Friend?
As mens wedding rings become more and more popular mens moissanite wedding rings become popular at an even faster rate. Wedding rings for men are here to stay and so are mens moissanite wedding rings.
Maid of Honor Duties
Being chosen as a maid of honor is a great privilege, but it also requires a large number of responsibilities in the wedding planning process. The maid of honor will likely be spending a great deal of time with the best man, since their duties are often the same and require them to work hand-in-hand in order for the wedding to be a success.
What You Should Know About Buying Engagement Rings Online
Buying engagement rings online doesn't have to be confusing or intimidating. In fact, the nice thing about shopping online is that you can browse several online stores without the hassle of traveling from store to store listening to endless sales pitches.
How To Keep Love Growing Through All The Ups And Downs
The relationship expert on i.village.
Wedding Invitation Tips and Advice
You're well into planning your wedding and have finally decided on the design of your wedding invitation. The wording has been chosen and the guest list is well on its way to completion.
Planning your Weddings Decoration Budget
When it comes to your decorating budget it really depends on where the ceremony and reception will be on what decorations need to be present as well as what if any; themes that you are choosing.For example, if you are planning an indoor dinner, you have to include centerpieces etc.
Signature Frames - Your Guestbook and Wedding Frame Together At Last!
So you have been invited to a wedding. Whether you are a friend, family member or the proud parents, one of the most important, if not stressful decisions is what to buy the new couple.
Is Your Marriage Sinking?
Reading this article does not necessarily mean that if you are married then your marriage is sinking. However, if you believe that living under a single roof means you have to compromise with your spouse then your marriage will definitely sink.
Beyond Her Grasp
I am a woman, 42, who three years ago married a wonderful man who will be 48 on his next birthday. I love him very, very much.
Is it to be a summer wedding or winter wedding? Do you have a particular favourite color? Does the bridegroom have a pathalogical dislike for a certain color?These are all important questions when deciding your wedding color scheme. The color you decide on will influence your dress color, the grooms outfit, the decoration at the reception, your flowers, the bridesmaid dresses.
Whats a Goldfish Doing at a Wedding?
Time was when you'd open a wedding invitation you'd find an understated high quality piece of parchment, with an uncompromisingly clear font, requesting, ever so formally, the honour of your presence.Then came radical changes, described by those in the know as, giving the wedding back to the people.
Marriage Tips: Breathe Your Way to a Happier Marriage
One way to increase your chances of enjoying a happy marriage is to remember to breathe deeply. Are you surprised by this recommendation? You're probably not the only one.
Top Ten Reasons to Plan a Destination Wedding
You and the one you love are dreaming of an enchanted getaway, to do nothing less than tie the knot. Why should anyone want to go away, you say? Check out these reasons for taking a sandy route to the altar with a destination wedding.
How To Fight Cultural Differences In Marriage And Stay Happy
When people plan to marry, they expect to find in their partner not only a lover but a friend also. A person with whom they can share their opinions, their emotions, thoughts and fears.
Rose Petals Add The Perfect Touch For A Wedding
Rose petals will add luxury to a wedding day or any other special occasion. Why settle for throwing ordinary rice when instead you can make the wedding so much more romantic by tossing rose petals?From your flower girl spreading a path of rose petals down the aisle to the happy couple being showered with rose petals upon completion of the services they add that little touch that will make this day special.
Fine Plus Size Mother Of The Bride Dresses
There are many choices available when shopping for fine plus size mother of the bride dresses. The styles and selections available in plus sizes are better than ever.
Cheap Wedding Invitations
Your wedding invitations are your announcement to family and friends of your wedding date. A special day you want them to remember as the best wedding they've ever been to.
Choosing a Wedding Date -- When You're Feeling Indecisive
He - or she - asked, and you answered in the affirmative! Now's the time to bask in the romance, and enjoy the first phase of your new life together. But soon, you'll need a response for that timeless question: "when's the wedding?"For some couples, it's easy - they know just when they want to tie the knot.
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