Parenting Information


Teach Your Children How To Resolve Conflict Without Using Anger Or Power


Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is perhaps the biggest challenge facing adults today. Children's disagreements both at home and at school can be noisy, physical and psychologically hurtful. The approach to conflict resolution learned and practised in childhood often stays for life.

Conflict is part of daily living. Effective people resolve conflict in ways that protect relationships, honour feelings and lead to a resolution. They neither avoid conflict nor do they use power to dominate others or win conflict.

It is useful for parents to provide a process for children to resolve individual differences peacefully and effectively. When two children have a disagreement that is upsetting to one or either then they may need adult assistance to resolve the conflict. One process that is both easy to learn and highly effective is the Face-Up conflict resolution process that is a variation on some common processes in use.

In the Face-up process children face each other and maintain eye contact. This helps for greater openness and understanding. It generally requires an adult to be present as a third party so parents may need to stick around to make sure it works effectively.

The steps involved in the Face-up process:

1. Safety first: To ensure safety and integrity it is important that both children are calm. Give them time and some help to regain control if they are angry or upset.

2. Feelings second: Using I-messages children tell each other how they feel about the situation. "I feel awful when you don't share your toys. I really feel like losing it because it is not fair." Focus on the feelings and don't let it get into recriminations or accusations.

3. Repeat third: Sometimes this process is enough to get a resolution or at least an apology. Repeat this procedure if necessary so both children feel they have been heard.

4. Resolve fourth: State the problem as you see it or as children identify it. Sometimes children just want to state their case and they will make their own suggestion about resolving it. "You can play with my old toys but I don't want you playing with my new toys for a while. They're special." "Okay."

5. Make-up fifth: An apology or an agreement is often enough however sometimes damage may need to be repaired or a follow-up talk from a parent about better behaviour may be appropriate.

Teaching children some simple rules for resolving conflict and a process such as the one above may well be one of the best investments in time and energy that a parent will make.

Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting educator. He is the author of six books and gives over 100 presentations a year and appears regularly on television, radio and in print.

For further ideas to help you raise happy children and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au. While you are there subscribe to Happy Kids newsletter and receive a free report Seven ways to beat sibling rivalry.


MORE RESOURCES:
This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news


The Denver Post

Shared-parenting bills around the country may reshape custody battles
The Denver Post
Now lawmakers are accelerating this trend toward co-parenting, with legislatures in more than 20 states considering bills this year that would encourage shared parenting or make it a legal presumption – even when parents disagree. Kentucky this year ...

and more »


TIME

3 Myths About Your Teen's Bad Attitude
TIME
Does this scenario feel familiar? Marisa is 12-and-a-half years old. She has become moody and irritable, wants much more private time alone in her room, but spends it all socializing with friends on social media. She has little time for the family. She ...



WCVB Boston

CityLine: Parenting Journey
WCVB Boston
Parenting Journey gives parents resources and support to provide the best care for their children. Share. Shares. Copy Link. Copy. {copyShortcut} to copy Link copied! WCVB. Updated: 9:04 AM EST Dec 11, 2017. CityLine: Parenting Journey. Parenting ...



SheKnows.com

The Top Pinterest Parenting Trends for 2018 Are Delightfully Tech-Free
SheKnows.com
What did parents do before Pinterest? How did nurseries get decorated? How did parents come up with the perfect hipster baby shower theme? Or the coolest recycled retro baby names? Or creative holiday crafts? Pinterest is definitely the go-to site for ...
Pinterest 100: The top trends to try in 2018 | BlogOh, How Pinteresting! - Pinterest

all 21 news articles »


WRAL.com

Amanda Lamb: Rain or shine parenting
WRAL.com
In a way, I think this experience highlights the reality of parenting. We cannot just choose to be parents on sunny days - on days when our child gets an “A” on the test, is the lead in the school play or makes the winning point in the game. We have to ...



Montgomery Advertiser

Parenting: Teach kids to apologize, forgive
Montgomery Advertiser
With the new year around the corner, many people have goal setting on their minds. This year, let's make one of our goals to help our kids become better communicators, especially when it concerns conflict resolution. Have you ever been in an argument ...



Using restorative practices in parenting
Centre Daily Times (blog)
In an age of public disdain, using restorative practices at home can help teach children that respecting others and being respectful are the most effective ways to relate. Restorative practices are used in many settings, including the justice system ...



City Pages

Travis Coker discovers the downside of cattle prod as parenting tool
City Pages
A keen student of motivational techniques, Travis Coker decided to jolt his daughters into a more expeditious completion of their chores. 0. Like all good fathers, Travis Coker hoped to instill in his daughters a robust work ethic, the better to ...



Sarasota Herald-Tribune

PARENTING: Authority is grounded in relationship
Sarasota Herald-Tribune
And when he has those moments of cheerfulness and enthusiasm, we will be ready to enjoy them with him. Ultimately, true authority is birthed out of an intimate relationship. So perhaps we should be our child's best friend. Jenni Stahlmann and Jody ...



On Parenting: Meghan Leahy took your questions about parenting
Washington Post
Hello everyone. Thanks for joining us today to discuss parenting with Meghan Leahy. She has an important piece out today about stopping all the craziness during the holiday season and focusing on what's important. We have two other related pieces about ...


Google News

home | site map
© 2007