10 Clues of an Online Affair
1. Your spouse or partner spends excess time on-line. Who doesn't use a computer today? I know a few people. They are excellent for paying bills, staying in touch with family, friends, customers, finding street locations, and a host of other productive endeavors. We can not live without them and shutter when a lighting storm threaten our usage. Just look at kids and their instant messaging. They will go without dinner just to keep in touch with their circle of friends. Try to pull them away, it's no easy task. Does your spouse resemble your kid's magnetism to the computer? Discover why this need is so powerful before it's too late.
2. Passwords, instant message "buddy lists", internet email accounts and emails are concealed - even protected from you! Do you find your spouse needing his "own space" at the computer? Is there a real reluctance when you ask to know his passwords? What's there to hide? These questions all have obvious answers. The act of hiding information is deceptive by nature. Of course, those of us who have worked in "Corporate America" understand the need to protect company secrets. But what legitimate "family secret" are we hiding? Listen, any time a spouse becomes secretive with you, it fulfills a direct need they demonstrate. Why? You are like the judge, referee, or source of authority creating that "sense of accountability" over them. Furthermore, they are breaking matrimonial law if committing adultery. There is, in many courts, a price to pay!
3. Computer use after you have gone to bed, when you fall asleep or in the middle of the night.Have you been awaken by the absence of your spouse at night and found him at the computer? If this behavior becomes a pattern you certainly need to be concerned. While work demands a sense of commitment and loyalty, working late repeatedly after you have fallen asleep is a little odd.
4. Your partner abruptly shuts off the internet and/or computer when you approach.This is panic and unexplainable behavior. The rationalization is "when all other contingency plans fail, just shut that thing off and don't get caught." This foolish act is also called a "computer crash" and has the potential of damaging both hardware and software. The loss of files occurs when a computer is cut off abruptly. Many spouses have reported this behavior just prior to hiring us. We consider it a significant indicator of a deviant behavior. Now, bear in mind your spouse may be viewing pornography and fear reprisal. This may explain the need for panic.
5. The computer and monitor are always positioned away from your sight. The study of body language has become useful to many investigators, especially those of us who administer lie detection examinations. An obvious sign of deception and a common mistake the cheater make is blocking your view. They need the time to clear a screen, turn off the monitor, or change to another internet page when threatened with exposure. Intentionally turning the monitor or laptop away from view is an indicator they don't want you to see something. Over time this act develops into a habit and confers greater freedom from detection. In most instances, having the lead time to hide the truth from you is all they need.
6. Clears all internet history after chat sessions, usage or installs software to automatically rid this information. There are times when a computer becomes filled with unwanted files. Computers run faster when less "temporary" files use up valuable "ram memory." This is prudent maintenance for any computer user. What I am referring to in this sign is the repeated habit of purposefully clearing information from discovery. While this information is retrievable through the science of Computer Forensics, you won't find it readily available. On the market now is software that actually helps the cheater. The actual purpose of this new software tool is to hide any trace of computer internet usage. Do you find this a little suspicious? I do.
7. Exhibits a compulsive need to be online and seems defensive when confronted to stop. "When are you coming to bed?" "We really need to go, now, what's taking so long?" "Can't you do that later?" Have you asked these types of questions? Teenagers often become "obsessed" with instant messaging. If you have kids who use the computer, you know. They have trouble walking away from the PC. This same desire or need displayed by your spouse is cause for alarm. A compulsive, defensive pattern of behavior shows a strong need to continue. You need to know why.
8. Shares personal information, photos or events with strangers in emails, chatrooms or while instant messaging. Setting up a profile for instant messaging is commonplace. Kids love to fill them up and share with friends on the buddy list. I've witnessed spouses who send nude pictures of themselves over the internet. They share very personal information that should be reserved to the marital home. Maybe it's time to track this information with software that collects this data. Today more courts are allowing emails and computer usage data as evidence. It's advisable to consult an attorney in your state beforehand!
9. Plays online games and frequents "personals" chatrooms. This is where it starts. Play a few games, win or loss but then we need to chat. Well if chatting is fine, why not include your spouse? You can't, so why do it?
10. Exhibits the eight warning signs illustrated in "The More You Know - Getting the evidence and support you need to investigate a troubled relationship available at http://themoreyouknowpi.com
Thirty plus years of investigative experience is poured into this new release. It's a "must have" resource guide for every woman's personal library.
© 2005 Bill Mitchell All rights reserved.
A note to all publishers: Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine, newsletter or website as long as the article's content is not modified and all links as well as the author's resource box are included.
Don't forget to send this article to a friend. Use the feature at the top of the page for your convenience.
Top Private Investigator Bill Mitchell recently appeared on the Dr. Phil Show is the author of "The More You Know - Getting the evidence and support you need to investigate a troubled relationship." For more information about the book, infidelity or cheating husbands, visit.
To receive a FREE Special Report entitled Emergency Infidelity Survival Plan - Top Fifteen Steps to implement Right Now! If you suspect an affair send an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org with Emergency Plan in the subject line.
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If you have ever read teen magazines you will be familiar with the myriad tests they offer their readers. You can find out everything from which type of jelly bean you are to which celebrity is your soul mate.
How to Survive Long Distance Relationships
One of the great obstacles to maintaining a healthy relationship these days occurs when jobs or other situations put physical distance between the two partners. This ultimately leads to what is called a long distance relationship that neither party may have been prepared for in the beginning.
What is a Red Flag
The focus of many of the last few articles has been on what is does a dangerous person look like, who you should avoid, but did you know that we all have personal red flags available if we just listen to them. Red Flags are signals that we all have, although they may differ just slightly.
Say, Whats On Your Mind, Partner?
Stan is an incurable romantic. Ever since he started courting Marge seriously, he has been sending or bringing her flowers.
The Breakdown of Relationships and Why They Fail
All females need sexual tension from a prospective or existing partner to consider having or continuing to have, a physical relationship with them. Lose this from the start and you will become mayor of the friend zone.
The Battle of the Sexes!
During my personal experiences with some of my relationships, I realised an important factor that a couple in any relationship might experience. The same issue reached my conclusion whilst talking with the people I've dealt with during in some of my private consultations.
Extreme Breakup Recovery: Maximum Healing / Minimum Time
If you are going through the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup, feeling pain, anger and depression, know this: You don't need to suffer one more day over your ex! It doesn't matter how long you have suffered, it is time to give up the pain and open up to a life free of pain.You may feel that you can't stop clinging on to the past, but by clinging on to the past, you are stopping life.
To Apologize or Not to Apologize...That is the Question
We don't like to say it and we don't always mean it, but despite the oft-quoted promise from the movie, love DOES mean saying you're sorry. Unfortunately the idea seems to have hung around long since the movie was put back on the shelf.
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