Relationships Information

Long Distance Relationships - How to Make it Work

Long distance relationships are dreadful. I know this because I'm currently living one. You watch other couples walk down the street hand-in-hand, kissing, etc., everyday and you can't do anything but envy them. So how can a long distance relationship work? How can you keep on loving someone if you can't even see them?

The answer depends on how much you want it to work. True love can overcome any odds thrown in its path if you want it bad enough. So the question is, how do you do it? Well, I do not think that anyone knows exactly how to make it work, but I can certainly provide some points on making it work.

1. COMMUNICATION is the key.

In every relationship, whether near or far, if communication is taken for granted, it can cause the relationship to quiver until it eventually dies a natural death. That's why in any given circumstance, communication has to be given utmost importance. There are so many available media to ensure that the communication stays open. From snail mails and phone calls to chat systems and e-mails or e-cards. These media can be effective means to convey your hearts desires to your loved ones. Let them know about what you've been doing and thinking because in that way they will feel like they are there with you. This will also help you feel close even though you are miles apart.

2. Send off CARE PACKAGES.

It can be anything -- a little gift of flowers; a collection of the letters he has sent you designed artistically into a scrapbook; or your sweetheart's favorite jewelry -- it's really only limited to your imagination. Engaging yourself in this way is beneficial for both of you. You get to concentrate on gathering these items and putting them together, thus keeping your mind off not being together to a certain extent. Your loved one will see how much effort you put into it and how much you care. Even if it is nothing more than a card,it shows they mean enough to you that you can take the time to let them know. It never takes much money to show a little love with a small gift. Trust me, it can melt a heart!

3. Keep yourself BUSY.

You couldn't just sit there and wait 'til he comes back to you. What if he doesn't come back at all and all you did was sit and get your tummy flabby, won't that make you just miserable? You won't just be stunting your growth as an individual in the process but you'd also be developing emotional insecurities. In order to avoid that, you have to focus yourself on other things while waiting. Try to identify your passions. Get in touch with your creative nature. If you are a homebody, you can read tons of books which can help you grow intellectually and emotionally or you can choose to lounge before your computer and surf for hours to learn invaluable things over the internet. It's an endless "ways-to-make-yourself-busy" list and it is up to you to decide whichever you're interested to get involved in. But remember, being "busy" is not an excuse to forget your "special days" and worse yet, your loved one. You're doing it not just to occupy yourself but also to allow yourself to grow even with your lover's absence.

4. HONESTY is the best policy.

The path to true intimacy and connection especially in a long distance relationship is through "total honesty" to each other in the fullest sense of the words. By being authentic and telling your full truth to your loved one about your thoughts, feelings, needs, wants, issues, boundaries, etc., you are gradually building up a zone of confidence and comfort for both of you. This is very essential if you want your relationship to really last. Seeking to avoid conflict and maintain harmony by censoring yourself can work for a while but it won't take much time until your suppressed truth comes out in other ways, such as withdrawal, resentment, "acting out," etc. I know, sometimes, telling your whole truth can be difficult and even scary, but it will result in the kind of relationship that you really want-- a relationship where all the cards are laid in the table.

5. The value of TRUST

Trust is a very fundamental aspect in any relationship. That is because having trust in a relationship takes away doubt. When you trust someone you never have to question their motivation about anything and with mutual trust that relationship is solid. You must learn to be true to the relationship and must never give way to insecurities, strange feelings, suspicions and quick impulses because these will only bring your relationship down. Don't push away negative comments, or advice. Just trust in yourself and your partner. If you two are true to each other and have no hidden motives then you'll be alright. Remember "Love never fails."

6. COMMITMENT is a habit not an achievement

In every relationship, it is a must to be able to learn how to commit and be committed. For most long distance relationships, the very reason why they fail is because both parties couldn't go on with the commitment and they feel too weak to withstand the tribulations of time.If you have committed yourselves to each other without shilly-shallying, then you have a good promise ahead of you.Your comitment to each other will keep the passion alive and the fires burning thus sustaining the growth of the relationship.

7. PATIENCE is a virtue.

Being in a long distance relationship requires being steadfast and persevering. If you aren't this kind of person and you're involved in a long distance relationship, then as much as now, you better try to learn to be patient. Focus your attention on all the positive aspects of the relationship and never give your hopes up. Showing that you value your partner and the relationship and that you are willing to work patiently through it will let them know you truly love them.


This is applicable only for those who have the comfort of having their own personal computers at home.But for those who don't, there are computers-for-rent in cafe's with webcams already attached to the computer system. Having a webcam is actually very fun and exciting. Even if you aren't together but looking at each other's face in the broad screen makes you feel like you're just so close, so near to your loved one. My boyfriend and I use Yahoo messenger to express our emotions with smileys and it's melting my heart to see him smile in the cam when he gets my messages.

9. Make special occasions SPECIAL.

It is not everyday that a special day comes so when it does, it must be celebrated no matter how far apart you are. When I speak of special occasions, I mean birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, New Year and Valentine's Day. During these occasions, you can plan out some heavy-duty phone call or an extended online time for the evening. Regardless of whether you talk every night or a couple times a week, be sure you both carve out some time for that particular night. If you're too stingy to settle on a lengthy phone call, but have cheap and unlimited online access, plan to send instant messages to each other or meet in a private chatroom somewhere. If you can't be together, at least you can be "talking" and "spending some private moments together".


Not because your loved one is away, it doesn't mean that your "life" is taken away with him as he sets on for greener pastures. You have your own life to live and you must live it up to the purpose you were created for, with or without your loved one.Anyway, we have our family and friends. What are these social beings surrounding us created for anyway?

Remember,there are definite hardships associated with this relationship style but it is important that those who thrive in a long distance relationship see the suffering, difficulties, distance and time as tools in cultivating their love and rearing up the maturity in their relationship. The best you can do is to strive to be the best of who you are as a person while your partner is away so that when he comes back to you, you are already a full-grown individual whom he will love even more and be more proud of more than ever! For now, just be happy in knowing that across the miles there is someone who thinks you are so special, they are willing to engage in a terrible thing such as a long distance relationship. Keep in mind that your suffering is not forever since your loved one will be back soon and when that time comes, everything will be much sweeter than it was back then.

Rachelle Arlin Credo (c) 2005

Rachelle Arlin Credo is an entrepreneur and relationship coach. She also works as an image consultant and part-time writer. Formerly a contributing scribe to The Freeman and Sunstar Daily - Philippines, she writes short stories, poems, essays, and tons of articles for,,,, and For more info, mailto:

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at

New York Post

This man has broken up 4000 relationships and counting
New York Post
“All I'm asking is, have you ever been in a situation like that in a relationship where you felt trapped like you couldn't get out of it and it was just easier to stay in it?” It's the kind of question you expect to hear from a psychologist rather than ...
How one man has broken up 4000 relationships and caused 17 divorces - in just 10
The man that has broken up 17 marriages and 4000 relationshipsCambridge News
Meet the comedian whose routine has broken up 4000 relationships in just 10 days.Birmingham Live
Mamamia -WalesOnline -Plymouth Herald -Scottish Daily Record
all 10 news articles »

Why we need to end blame culture around toxic relationships
Ariana ended her relationship of almost two years with the rapper and producer in May and was forced to open up about the toxic nature of the relationship only a short while later, after she received abuse online following Miller's arrest for drink ...
Pete Davidson on Instagram: “@nbcsnl back next week. fuck the internet tho...”Instagram

all 92 news articles »

Baltimore Sun

Baltimore man told police that hatred of interracial relationships inspired fatal Times Square stabbing
Baltimore Sun
Timothy Caughman described himself on Twitter as a can and bottle recycler, an autograph collector, and a good businessman. The 66-year-old had a knack for spotting celebrities on the streets of New York, and managed to get stars like Oprah and Wyclef ...

and more »

New York Post

Here's why relationships are making us fatter
New York Post
If you've gained weight in a committed relationship, you're not alone. Almost 80 percent of Americans put on “love weight” when they began dating their current partner, according to a new study conducted for Jenny Craig. Here's a look at some of the ...

and more »

Police chiefs knew undercover officer was in relationship with activist, documents reveal
Police were aware that undercover officer Mark Kennedy was in a relationship with an environmental activist and allowed it to continue, official documents show. In public statements up until recently, police have said they would never sanction such ...
Met bosses knew of relationship deception by spy Mark KennedyThe Guardian
Mark Kennedy: Met Police 'admit knowing about undercover officer's sexual relationship but let it continue'The Independent
Police 'aware' undercover officer was in relationshipBBC News
CNN International
all 165 news articles »

Hot Springs Sentinel

Relationships, strong connections key to preventing suicides, panel says
Hot Springs Sentinel
Building relationships and forming strong connections with individuals who are in crisis are keys to helping prevent suicide, panelists at this year's Moving Forward: Suicide Prevention Conference 2018 said Thursday. The panel discussion "Responding to ...


Dan Savage calls BS on the bad fantasies that make relationships even harder
Relationships are so complicated because people are so complicated,” says Savage. “But people make it worse. People make what is already complicated and already difficult harder and more difficult by clinging to bullshit fictions.” The fictions to ...


Tiffany Haddish Claims She Prefers Her Blanket & Sex Toys Over Relationships With Men
I mean, my personal relationships haven't been that good, but I have been keeping up with my weighted blanket and my toys that I get off of Groupon," admitted Haddish. "And batteries! Batteries are a girl's best friend... I like how the band looking at ...
Tiffany Haddish Doesn't Need Men, She Has A BlanketYouTube

all 32 news articles »


6 Signs Your Relationships Is Suffering A Major Disconnect
Relationships go through all kinds of phases, and as time passes, our personalities and interests shift. That's totally natural. The goal (which is easier said than done) is to stay connected with your partner through these changes. Some of these ...

Lincoln Journal Star

'Chicago Fire,' 'Med' & 'PD' Showrunners Tease New Characters, Relationships & Struggles
Lincoln Journal Star
Several months have passed since paramedic Gabby Dawson took a gig as a volunteer medic in Puerto Rico (Monica Raymund exited Fire in May), and her husband, Matt Casey (Jesse Spencer), "isn't coping very well with the long-distance relationship," ...
Chicago Med – TV InsiderTV Insider
Elias Koteas – TV InsiderTV Insider
Jason Beghe – TV InsiderTV Insider

all 21 news articles »

Google News

home | site map
© 2007