Relationships Information

What Is Love And The Love Equation

What is Love? This question has bothered me for a long time. After listening to many perspectives and examining Love from several angles, the thought came to my mind that we have over-complicated Love and need easier to understand models. I decided to put forward two equations, one defining the relationship between Love and Fear and the other about Love itself. The first equation is:

Love = 1 / Fear

This inverse relationship implies the more Fear you have within you, the less Love you will have and the less Fear you have the more Love you will have. I derived the equation from the Indifference Curves Analysis theory and it shows how our mind works. Think about how you feel at the beginning of a relationship when everything seems so wonderful and neither of the lovers have expressed any of their Fears. As the relationship progresses, the ugly part begins to emerge, and when it becomes difficult to deal with, you find the Love disappearing faster than a runaway train going downhill.

However, I found the above equation still does not explain what is Love. Further examination showed its primary drivers (variables) are time, space, energy and willpower, from which I got the second equation:

Love = ( Time * Space * Energy ) ^ Will ( ^ describes exponential power ).

  • Time - is the biggest test of your relationship showing how long your Love has been able to hold the heat without melting.
  • Space - represents how much space you have had to express yourself as you are. When you cannot be who you are, the relationship ultimately collapses because there is no freedom for you beyond its confines. You feel bottled and throttled into a zone with no where to express your natural individuality.
  • Energy - initially I had chosen "matter" as this variable but then realized Quantum Physics describes all matter as energy. Energy represents all the things you have invested into the relationship.
  • Will - describes your willpower. I found this to be the most influential factor which either exponentially increases or decreases all the other variables. Positive constructive will empowers your Love and negative deconstructive will destroys. Let's look at an example. Your partner may provide all the material needs of life, but if he bites you with sarcastic comments, your Love thermometer falls like you are standing in a deep freezer.
Of course all equations have to make certain assumptions to be valid. The intent of this article is not to turn you into a mathematician or physicist, so I am only going to describe the most important one: the equation holds true at specific points with other factors held constant (e.g. external factors such as work, friends, family, in-laws). This means the equation will change over your lifetime, and to keep Love growing, you and your lover will always have to keep working on all the variables.

Visit Zakaria Adam at for advice on relationships, dating, romance and love.

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