Relationships Information

Great Relationship Advice: Dont Be a Darren Stevens

Q: I can't believe I'm asking this question, because I can't believe I'm even feeling this way. My wife just got an offer that would give her a better and higher paying job than I have. I can't believe I am jealous, and even worse, I'm tempted to encourage her not to take it. How do I stop myself from doing something really stupid?

I'm glad you wrote, because not only would you be doing something really dumb, you'd be pulling what I call a "Darrin Stevens." In the old TV series "Bewitched", Samantha Stevens was a witch who could simply wiggle her nose and make things happen. Her husband, Darrin Stevens, an advertising executive, wanted them to live like a normal family and thus discouraged "Sam" from using her powers.

Even as a kid, I always thought he was really dumb. Here was this guy with a wife who had all these gifts and talents that could get them whatever they wanted, and he kept trying to block her from using them.

Now, am I suggesting your wife is a witch? Of course not. What I am suggesting is that you find a way to encourage her to use her gifts and abilities to the fullest, be proud of her, and enjoy the process.

Otherwise, you'll be pulling a "Darrin Stevens" and snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

And one more thing: as one husband to another, where is it written that we have to make more than our wives? If you do find it written anywhere, throw the book out, it's not very useful!

Just one more word of suggestion, and I do mean one word: celebrate!

Visit for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

could not open XML input