Cheating Spouse: 7 Legitimate Motives for Spying
Should you spy on your cheating husband or wife? You believe you see signs of a cheating spouse. The need to know whether your spouse is cheating and EXACTLY what kind of cheating is taking place is often strong. There are a number of reasons why the drive to spy is powerful. Here are seven:
1. Trust is a big reason, not of your partner, but yourself. Probably for some time you have sensed something is different or questioned the change of behavior in your partner. Perhaps you confronted your cheating husband or cheating wife and it was met with denial. This created a huge dilemma for you because a part of you was screaming, Hey, this doesn't fit! I don't believe it!
To deny this part of you, which KNOWS the truth, creates a tremendous internal turmoil.
If the truth as you suspect it is confirmed, you can take a deep breath and at least know that you can trust yourself. You are NOT CRAZY!
Spying is a way to confirm your suspicions and trust more fully your gut feelings.
2. Spying on cheating husbands or cheating wives often helps the person feel connected to the partner who seems to be steadily moving away. It is a way of maintaining contact and having some sort of connection to this stranger who once was well known.
Isn't it like the game of hide-and-seek we used to play as children? Sometimes there, sometimes gone. At least it is a game, and a game is at least some contact, some involvement. You miss the connection and try to find someway to maintain the ties.
3. Spying on a cheating spouse may be an honest attempt to bring resolution to the relationship. You want to know the truth. You sense something does not fit. You suspect there is a breach of something. You want to know what you are up against. You are not willing to stand pat and wait.
You are a person of action. You want some sort of movement. You want to get on with the relationship. You want to get on with your life.
You know that it is difficult maintaining your sanity when there might be this huge elephant that no one is talking about. You want to know the truth, face the truth, deal with the truth and be free.
4. Cheating husbands or cheating wives often, unfortunately, lead to the demise of marital relationships. If you strongly suspect this to be true for your situation you will want to protect yourself legally. If there is betrayal, lying and deception regarding a third party, other forms of deception may exist financially or in other areas of the relationship. Having "evidence" does have some impact in some court systems. Whether you need to protect yourself legally depends on the kind of affair facing you and the character of your spouse. Please read through my "7 Reasons For an Affair" to determine the situation that faces you. If your spouse is someone who can't say no, doesn't want to say no or is acting out rage, please make sure to take protective steps.
5. You may want to protect yourself medically if you suspect you have a cheating husband or wife. You might be concerned about sexually transmitted diseases. Your health may be at stake. And, of course, you need to know.
Shame, guilt or self-absorption may be so powerful in your partner that it gets in the way of responsibly informing you of the medical dangers when another partner is sexually brought into your relationship.
6. Seeing signs of a cheating spouse often mean secrets. Secrets are work! There is not much written about the impact of a secret in a relationship, but believe me, in over two decades of working with strained relationships day in and day out, keeping a secret has a powerful impact. It is the proverbial elephant sitting in the room that no one dare talk about. People take extraordinary measures to tip toe around it, but it IS there. Emotionally, you can't miss it. Secrets are a drain. If the secret persists, its impact is felt in subtle but insidious ways. People become physically ill, sometimes seriously so. People become depressed. People start doing crazy things. Children start acting out, stop achieving, become listless or exhibit a host of other symptoms. Children, or the next generation, often carry the emotional load. You want to spy because you don't want to live with a secret. You want to discover the truth. You want to feel the freeing power of the exposed secret and the opportunity it offers for healing, resolution, a rich relationship and a productive life.
7. Some of us like drama. Soap opera scenarios and adrenaline based lives are a hallmark of our society. We get juiced or pumped up entering into emotional relational triangles that offer intrigue. Without adrenaline, life seems boring or mundane. Perhaps an unspoken reason for an affair may be to fan the fire? Or, you may spy on your cheating spouse to keep the sense of being alive a part of your life.
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com
This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news
Baltimore man told police that hatred of interracial relationships inspired fatal Times Square stabbing - Baltimore Sun
Police chiefs knew undercover officer was in relationship with activist, documents reveal - Telegraph.co.uk
How one man has broken up 4000 relationships and caused 17 divorces - in just 10 days - Mirror.co.uk
Tiffany Haddish Claims She Prefers Her Blanket & Sex Toys Over Relationships With Men - HotNewHipHop
'Chicago Fire,' 'Med' & 'PD' Showrunners Tease New Characters, Relationships & Struggles - Lincoln Journal Star
Calling Forth a Soulmate
How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You don't. I've read plenty of books that tell you how to do it, but I don't believe for a minute that you can place your cosmic order and your perfect ideal twin soul is going to materialize just like that at your front door.
Relationship Advice: Wash that (Bad) Man Out of Your Hair
Stuck on a guy who cheats on you? Lies? Claims he loves you but can't marry you because a) his wife won't divorce him, b) his last relationship ended so painfully it nearly killed him, or c) he can't make a commitment until his kids are in college?Here's how to get unstuck:1) Understand that you have no control over the situation. You can't make a man love you the way you deserve to be loved, you can't keep him faithful, you can't force him to tell the truth.
When Your Relationships Turn Abusive - What You Can Do
Sometimes the people who are the closest to us, our friends and our mates, the ones who should be liking us the best, are the ones who hurt us the most.No matter how lonely you are, you don't have to put up with rude or abusive behavior from other people.
Will They or Will They Not Cheat?
Have you ever told your partner or spouse how you would feel if you found out they had been cheating? Maybe your spouse or partner will never cheat on you! Are would they?Ok, maybe they want cheat. But you must face the fact that your spouse or partner will be tempted with the "grass is greener on the other side" especially after all the responsibilities of parenthood have set in and things are not so carefree anymore.
How Much Time Do You Invest in Relationship Maintenance?
When starting a new relationship, we usually adopt a subconscious idea as to how much maintenance this connection will need. Usually, if given some thought, we can throw a microscope over this concept while it is in its fledgling state.
Beware of Becoming a Professional Online Dater
Every year, hundreds of thousands of people find their "perfect match" through online dating services. And every year hundreds of thousands more become discouraged from their experiences.
Setting Boundaries: Business Clients and Boyfriends
Setting boundaries is necessary in any human relationship.Whether you're dealing with an overly demanding business client or a boyfriend with wandering hands, sometimes you just have to say "No!"In fact, there are many parallels creating successful relationships with business clients and boyfriends.
How To Quickly Turn Platonic Friends into Lovers Using The New 5-Step Jealousy Technique
I'm going to get straight to the point. If you want to exit the platonic zone, you need to focus on two things.
Is Your Relationship Worth Fighting For
Sometimes when a relationship has gone sour, our efforts are used trying to repair it, or "get it back", while the best thing to do might be to look at things in a different perspective. Is the relationship worth fighting for or is it truly a lost cause.
Cheating Spouse: 7 Legitimate Motives for Spying
Should you spy on your cheating husband or wife? You believe you see signs of a cheating spouse. The need to know whether your spouse is cheating and EXACTLY what kind of cheating is taking place is often strong.
How to Increase Romance with Humor
Ask any single adult what qualities he or she wants in a spouse or partner, and one of the first answers is always "a sense of humor." Yet relationships and most marriages easily lose the early excitement after living together for several years.
Being A Friend Through A Divorce
We used to joke amongst the couples we are close to, "who would get custody of the friends in a divorce". We are a very close group of friends that met in college around 20 years ago, and have remained close through many of life's changes and transitions.
Dont Avoid Conflict and Confrontation with Your Spouse
"I just let him handle things his way." "We're not very good at resolving problems, so I let it go.
Essense of Infidelity
On one very popular web site there were 260 posts from both sexes commenting about forgiving and forgetting infidelities. I read every one of them.
Lifelong Partners, Lifelong Growth
Many people, maybe even you, think there is only one life partner for each of us in our lives. I've got good news - we all have many, many life partners.
Great Relationships: What to Do When You Have Drifted Apart
Picture, if you will, the following scene:A man and woman, somewhere in the great expanse of middle age, walk into a sandwich shop and sit down. They don't speak to each other.
The Friend Who Taught Me
Knowing her day can be dreadfully tiresome when she mounts her soapbox, there's much to like and enjoy about her life so far.When she describes the understandings of her existence and its climactic moments, I compare with other ordinary people as they go through their day, terrified of what may come their way.
Are You Fit To Love?
is the most important question you'll ever ask yourself. Let's face it, our relationships are extremely important.
Are You Living An Illusion Romance Like Lisa Snowdon and George Clooney?
My Dear Lover,Today I am sad, I don't have good news for you.The actor actor George Clooney, living based in Los Angeles, and the model and television presenter Lisa Snowdon, living in England, start their long distance relationship in 2000 and dated on and off for a year because their long distance relationship was not working.
Does a Woman Want a Strong Christian Man?
Most women say they want a strong religious man who believes in God, attends church and goes to bible study every week. Is this true? The answer is No if the man is a religious freak who consumes every waking hour brooding over the bible; engages only with non-secular friends; excessively attends religious events; and constantly scrutinizes non-Christian behavior, especially their partner.
|home | site map|